Does what you wear to church matter?
Debates shuffle back and forth on this topic here and there. I would say "rage", but they don't. Most people have decided that what you wear to church isn't of any importance at all, so it's just a few squeaking voices out there trying to raise the flag on this one.
What are the arguments? Why is it that most people believe that what we wear to church is of no real importance? Mark Driscoll writes "Why should we press for formal dress in church when one of the only passages in the New Testament that speaks about what to wear to church rebukes women for dressing up to the degree that they turned church into a fashion show (1 Timothy 2:9–10)?" The thinking is that we are always in the presence of God, so what's so special about church? God is our Father, so we should be comfortable in His presence. There's nothing sacred about a church. Churches are supposed to welcome everyone, so why make someone feel uncomfortable because they didn't dress up? One of the very common things you might here is "What about those without formal attire? Do you want to exclude them just because they don't have the right kind of clothes?" And, of course, the very common, "We shouldn't be looking around at what other people are wearing. We should just be focusing on God."
There is a lot of sense in these arguments. Surely someone without means shouldn't feel like they're an outsider just because they cannot afford a suit and tie. And certainly God is our Father -- referred to as "Abba", "Daddy" -- and we should be comfortable in His presence. And the church is populated with our brothers and sisters. We shouldn't be concerned about what we wear around our family, right? And we really are in the presence of God all the time. So ... what's so special about church? And why would anyone suggest anything other than weekend casual attire for Sunday morning service?
Well, here's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking that what I wear to church on Sunday morning betrays what I think of God and this special gathering of the saints. It's not so much what you wear that matters, but what I wear. You see, what I wear tells you what I think.
We know this to be the case. No one goes to a job interview in shorts and a t-shirt. It is inappropriate. It tells the interviewer, "I don't really care what you think. I have no respect for you. I'm only thinking of myself." We don't attend funerals or grand balls in jeans because it isn't appropriate. We show proper respect. So imagine with me for a moment a parallel situation. Meet the King and his son, the prince. The King loves his son, and the son loves his father, the King. When the King sits with the prince in the library and talks, they are comfortably attired. When the King and the prince go for a ride in the forest, they are suitably attired. The prince is not required to refer to his father as "your highness" when they meet in the halls of the castle nor wear particular clothing when they sit down to breakfast. But when the King is in his court, things change. The prince is now required to show respect. He will not show up to the King's court in a bathrobe. He will dress appropriately and show proper honor ... to the King, not his father. How he appears in this instance to the King betrays what he thinks of the King. Are they "buddies", or is there also a relationship of fear and respect?
You see, it isn't what you wear to church that matters. It's what you think. When the poorest man puts on his cleanest pair of jeans and cleanest shirt to go to church, it says, "I'm dressing the best I can to come into this formal presence of the King." It is driven by an attitude, not an income. On the other hand, when a man with means puts on shorts and a shirt to go to church, he is saying, "God and I are pals; there is no need for additional respect in this formal setting." What we wear to the gathering of the saints in the presence of the King reflects an attitude of the heart.
What attitude does it reflect when we say, "It doesn't matter"? It reflects the terrifying, yet actually defended position, "There is no fear of God before their eyes" (Rom. 3:18).
11 comments:
The "judging others for their attire" is an old accusation of the religious left toward other Christians who dress up. There was probably one unjust rebuke of a poor person for not wearing Prada one Sunday back in the 60s. Such are the injustices that the religious left worries about.
I wonder how many minutes Driscoll spent of his sermon on this subject; hopefully less than he spent on reporting his opinion that Jesus and the twelve guys had to spend some time telling "pull my finger" fart jokes [click on "this one by Mark Driscoll" - about minute 35]. His vulgarity betrays an indifference toward God IMO.
You're absolutely correct in saying that what you wear betrays your attitude toward God. The truth is everything we do reveals that attitude going all the way back to Eve's choice not to flee the presence of the serpent and Cain's "in the course of time" offering. That would be the heart of a sermon about appearances.
You make excellent points. It makes me think...I have heard that Rick Warren brags about his casual pastor attire...hawaian shirts and no socks. It makes me cringe to think that he would boast about having no reverence for the LORD...
I disagree.
Okay, I will be the odd one out.
Clothing is exactly what the "world" taught me to be concerned about and that was my heart as a teen, when I started making money and was self-absorbed, so now I find clothing as a concern for me to be an issue of a selfish heart. How would some of you feel if I judged you according to what nice clothing means to my heart???
When I was a child, much of the time when I went to church I did not have "special" outfits and would feel the odd one out. When I was a teen and went to church dressed up, my heart was certainly not about God.
When I was older I found a church that was not all about the exterior, but rather about the hidden person of the heart. You could come as you are. If you owned jeans, you wore them. If you owned slacks, you wore them. Whatever you wore during the week is what you wore on Sunday. My only concern about that is teaching all people modesty in their dressing, because today in the world, I think a vast majority of clothing for women is anything but modest. Almost every button-up blouse I buy now requires a safety pin, because they forgot to put a button up high enough?!?!
Right now I own two pairs of slacks without any holes that I switch out each day that I go in public...whatever pair fall on Sunday is what I wear. To me it is more important my children have clothing than me and I struggle to meet that need.
Do you know how it makes somebody like me feel when I read about people who feel what you wear shares your heart? Really? So when you see a woman wearing slacks that are pretty worn looking to church, do you see a woman whose heart is about God and her children and did you consider that she gives what she could spend on nice clothing to her persecuted brethren in other parts of the world?
I much prefer a church where the elders and lay people do not dress up so my children and I don't have to stick out like a sore thumb and look like we need pity. I am content in my circumstance, the Lord is my Provider and I certainly take no issue with what we are afforded and I feel blessed that we can share what we have with those who are in more need than us.
I buy my children jeans and t-shirts and sweatshirts because they are the most durable and reasonable in cost. Each of us owns one pair of shoes and they are not dressy either.
I am not religious left, I am about as conservative of a Christian as they get. And I thank the Lord there are conservative churches that allow us in their doors without judging our hearts for the way we are dressed and don't make us feel the odd one out. On the other hand I have attended the churches where people dress up and have watched as we are judged unrighteously over such a petty thing...clothing.
To those of you who could afford to dress up, but choose to dress down for making people like my children and me feel welcome...thank you! Even if the Lord provides more, I pray my children's hearts are always more concerned about dressing down to make others feel welcome and instead using the money to meet the needs of persecuted brethren. I will feel the Lord would see that as pleasing in His sight. I live for Him, not for your judgment about what I wear, so long as I am modest in my attire.
Stan, I am leaving this anonymous, just becasue I truly don't want pity over my situation, just understanding. Thank you that you did clarify that you only judge yourself. I know you well enough to feel you would not judge me over my "poor" clothing. So my words are not meant toward you, I am only speaking to those who have not considered people in my situation or who are not considering more sides to this story.
I feel it would be a sin for me personally to spend money on clothing to dress up when I have persecuted brethren whose needs are more worthy of my attention. That is my what God has placed on my heart, how can I deny it to please man?
That doesn't make you the "odd one out", since 50% of the comments thus far agree and 50% disagree.
The problem I was addressing was the attitude of the heart ... the attitude that says, "God is my buddy and I don't need to show Him any respect when I show up." That's why I said, "It isn't what you wear to church that matters. It's what you think. When the poorest man puts on his cleanest pair of jeans and cleanest shirt to go to church, it says, 'I'm dressing the best I can to come into this formal presence of the King.' It is driven by an attitude, not an income."
And since none of us are able to judge what's in the heart, we'd best stay out of doing just that. On the other hand, each of us needs to judge ourselves carefully.
And since none of us are able to judge what's in the heart, we'd best stay out of doing just that.
I assumed that in my post. Our actions reveal a lot about us but only God is the judge of our hearts.
Anonymous, there are two corruptions here. One, there are people who dress up and judge others who don't - I just haven't met one yet (but obviously you have). 2, there are those who dress down and judge those who dress up as dressing only for appearances, and this accusation I've heard from the pulpit before. Both corruptions are trivial but they do exist (and they reveal a spirit of disunity).
It's possible to judge the hearts of others either way. That said, I will be praying that God will carry you and your children through this difficult time.
You may be anonymous here but God knows who we're praying for. Take care.
Stan,
This is a great post and seems to have sparked some good conversation.
I and most other committed Christians spend way more time reverencing God outside of church. I personally do not concern myself with what I am wearing. For instance, I do not get up and put a suite on for my morning devotional time or for my weekly Bible studies. I concern myself with my heart condition. I agree that this is the most important concern.
What most people wear is a reflection of what they want "others" to think of them. Your comments even support this thinking. "You see, what I wear tells you what I think." I would argue that most people tie what you wear to what they think about "you" rather than what they think you feel about God. In general, on Sunday you are among other believers or soon to be believers. They don't need to see the light of God nearly as much as the folks you see during the other 167 hours of your week that you spend outside of church.
I would say that focusing on your outward appearance when outside the walls of the church is way more important. And I am not talking about clothes here. I am talking about your outward appearance as displayed in your actions and your attitudes. Clothing is relative to many factors associated with culture and times. The Holiness that shines through your living testimony of Jesus Christ's sacrifice does not change and is not relative to anything in worldly culture.
I just have to wonder ... is there no such thing as "appropriate attire"? If we were invited to the White House for dinner, would we show up in shorts and a t-shirt? Do we go to job interviews in holey jeans? Why is it that we are willing to show respect to men, but refuse to show the same respect in the house of God?
The story is told of the time when Babe Ruth was invited to meet the King of England. The State Department spent hours with the Babe, explaining protocol, instructing him on the proper method of dress and how to address the king. "You bow to him and address him as 'Your Highness'." Imagine their horror, then, when he strode up to the king, grabbed his hand and shook it, and said, "Hiya, king."
Americans like that story. It shows no respect for royalty. It shows independence, individuality, the importance of self over office. It also shows a disrespect for authority and a disregard for others that has come with American independence and individuality. Our battle cry of the Revolutionary War -- "No sovereign" -- too often is aimed at God as well.
Thank you Jim for your kind words and prayers...because yes, my children and I could really use prayer support...mostly for our hearts to keep focused on Christ and not circumstances that could create pain and bitterness if dwelt on.
Stan...I think appropriate attire for church is anything that is modest, as in, women (or men) need to be covered in such a way not to bring attention to themselves...especially not to create lust in people coming to worship God.
However, that being said, this triggers other thoughts I have had this week about the "respect" and "honor" issue. In almost every religion people truly "bow" before the one they are worshipping. In our culture, the idea of falling on our face before one in authority is unknown. Yet in the Bible God was treated with such honor and respect.
I do think that at times I allow Him to be more of my "best friend" than my God. And just this week I asked Him to please accept my feeble attempts to show Him more honor. If Muslims are willing to bow over and over to a god that is not true, how much more should I be willing to bow in awe before the God who truly is holy, holy, holy throughout my day?
I know when I come before Him someday that I will fall on my face, so why not practice now? Just because I cannot see His throne does not make Him any less the King of kings and Lord of lords. I do think if we don't treat Him as holy, holy, holy...it should be our goal to learn how TODAY.
Very, very true. To bow in the presence of the King? We don't do that! It is, however, one of the most documented positions of worship in the Bible. Sitting in pews (or chairs) isn't on that list. How odd! =)
Ok Stan -- I'm about 7 months behind in reading about this issue, but it was something that interested me from your blog of 6/20 where you listed the top 10.
There is an issue at our church - and its not that I think one needs to dress to the hilt, but I agree with the modesty aspect. We have one young woman (early 20s, wife, & mother of 2) who practically bears 'all' and has been lovingly spoken to on more than one occassion and she still dresses inapproprately. I also believe she is living in rebellion to the leadership of the church, but more importantly to the Father Himself.
YES I think there is something to be said for 'bringing your best to the Father, including your attire'... if your best is a clean T-shirt & wholly jeans, so be it -- but for most this would not be the case. Interesting how folks can put on their best for Easter Sunday, Mother's Day, Father's Day, etc -- yet wear their tacky outfits the other times.
I asked another young lady (teen) this past week -- would you be comfortable dancing before the throne of God as you are dressed today? She said no. So I asked her then why are you before the throne of God dressed the way you are?
So thank you for this 'old post' and what I learned from it. I agree with Anonymous and respect what she has said. I agree with you its a matter of my own personal heart.
Blessings,
LouAnn
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