Can We Talk?

Have you ever noticed that there are some things that we can't talk about?

I recently read a piece on why it is that homosexuality is perfectly acceptable and Christians should back off and let it be because it's normal and biblical -- so there. Now, if I were to respond to this line of thinking, there is only one possible conclusion -- I'm a homophobe. I could explain the biblical perspective. I could tell why the Bible is against homosexual behavior. I could respond to the piece point by point. And I could even state with all clarity that God doesn't hate homosexuals and neither do I. Love the sinner; hate the sin. You know. But it doesn't matter. I would be branded a right wing anti-gay. The only way to avoid this kind of slander is to agree with the piece.

I recently read a piece on why it is that women should be allowed to be head pastors of churches and anyone who disagrees is a throwback to the Dark Ages. If I were to respond to this line of thinking, I'd be shot down from two directions. First, I'm a male. Males are not allowed to comment on things about females if they are perceived to be "keeping the woman down". If my position from Scripture is not that women should be allowed to be head pastors of churches, I would be a male chauvinist, a power-mad fool trying to keep women in their place and prevent them from being all that God intended. Second, I'd be a "traditionalist", a throwback, too narrow-minded and too steeped in history and tradition to see the truth. Even in a discussion of the merits of the arguments and the reasons why Scripture appears to contradict the idea that women should be allowed to be head pastors, I'd be branded "backward". Clearly I am placing on Scripture my own twisted perspective, as every enlightened person (male and female) can tell. How do you know who is enlightened? Well, you're clearly enlightened if you agree with the idea that women should be allowed to be head pastors of churches.

I float these two, without merit of discussion, points of Scripture, or real explanation of the ideas on either side, as illustrations of things that we can't talk about. To do so would be narrow-minded, bigoted, sexist, and so on and so forth. The merits of the arguments are not up for discussion. Why the Bible might disagree is not an allowable course of conversation. And heaven help the ones who disagree with the current "new views". You're simply being disagreeable. You don't like "seeker-sensitive services"? Clearly you're not progressive enough. You think that churches should have a biblical government? You're obviously not keeping up with the times. And that limited idea that the Bible is the Word of God ... come on ... where are you from? No, no, we won't be discussing the merits of any of those ideas. They disagree with the majority; therefore, they have no merits and there is nothing to discuss. If you do decide to discuss it, you're just being argumentative and mean-spirited. And you call yourself a Christian? Troublemaker! We're just not going to talk about it. You're too judgmental and intolerant.

Or take this example. There is a young lady where I work with whom I have occasional conversations. She lives with her boyfriend whom she followed from her home of origin back on the east coast. Now, me, being the curious type ... I simply want to ask "Why?" I don't mean it as judgmental. I'm just curious what would make someone choose to live together, especially with that amount of conviction, and not marry. But try asking that question without sounding like some outraged parent-type or offended moralist. Try asking that without sounding like, "What in the world were you possibly thinking???!!!" I don't know. Maybe it's me. Maybe it's that I would possibly be thinking that very question. Maybe it's because in the back of my mind I'm thinking, "What would make you do such a foolish thing?" But I wouldn't mean it that way. I just want to know ... you know, like a survey question. It's not like the answer impacts me in any significant way. A data point, that's all. But I will likely never ask that question because it cannot be asked without sounding jugmental and intolerant. One thing I cannot tolerate is intolerant people.

Maybe not. Maybe we can't talk. But I suppose I'll keep trying.