Parents and Kids

I recently had the pleasure of spending an evening with some old friends of ours. We don't get to see them very often because instead of following us out of state, they stayed where they were. I know ... rude ... but I don't hold it against them. But he and I worked together and went to church together and spent a great deal of time together for a many years, so when he and his wife visited on their way east, it was a real joy. He and I sat up until late -- long after the women had gone on to bed -- and caught up on the real stuff.

He has always been a genuine family man, a man whose devotion to his family is only secondary to his love for the Lord. His family is all grown now and moved out and married with children. He has 7 grandchildren (at my last count) and his kids live here and there, all on their own away from Mom and Dad. Still, when I asked him how he was doing (you know -- not the "Hey, how's it going?", but the genuine question), his answer came from his deep concern for his kids. This one hasn't learned how to manage their money and they're having problems, and that one is still having problems with old vices, and the other one is over his head and doesn't know what to do, and the grandkids are feeling it ... you get the idea.

I found myself wondering, "At what point does a parent stop worrying about his kids?" I wondered, "Do my parents still worry about me?" You see, I'm old. Oh, sure, not as old as my parents are, although sometimes I feel like I passed them up, but my mistakes -- most of them ... you know, the big ones -- have been made. I'm settled, have a lovely wife, live in a comfortable place, have a job ... you know, the stuff that parents worry about. Do they still worry about me? And how long will I continue to worry about my kids? You see, one of them is a newlywed and that's something these days to be concerned about and another is having marital difficulties and that's something to worry about and one is in financial hardship and I don't know what to do for him and the other is doing okay, but where is he going from here? There's always something, it seems, to be concerned over when it comes to our kids.

I know ... we're not supposed to worry. I know -- believe me, more than most ... more than almost anything -- that the only place to find comfort in these kinds of things is precisely in the arms of the One who can handle it. So I set aside "worry" ... but I still carry around "concern". I guess it won't likely stop any time soon.