I am a husband. I don't think anyone is unclear on this. I am a husband who loves his wife. I am a fortunate husband because it is easy to love my wife. As such, some husbands might get tired of me bringing up this subject. Too bad. It isn't my command; it's God's command. More importantly, I think it is a command in serious danger of being lost in today's society and if it is lost, we are in serious trouble. Given the immensity of this problem, I want, then, to repeat and re-evaluate this concept:
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her (Eph. 5:25).That's enough, I think. There is more and it is important and you had likely have that entire passage memorized, husbands. It is no small task, no small command, and no small catastrophe if you fail. But this singular verse is really big, and I don't think a lot of husbands get this.
First, the command is to agape your wife. It isn't eros, sexual love. If it were, we'd all be there, right? It isn't storge, the natural affection for family. That's pretty easy, too. It isn't philos, the standard love that says, "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine." No, this is agape love. This love is demanded regardless of how you feel or how she responds. It is regardless of whether she gains weight or loses weight. It is regardless of whether she is nice to you or mean to you. It is regardless of whether she keeps a clean house or gives you a pig sty in which to live. It is regardless of whether she appreciates, respects, or values you. It is without condition. Husbands, love your wives.
The illustration offered as to how that should look is in the next phrase, beginning with the comparative term, "as". "Just like", "in the same way" -- that's the idea. In what way are we to choose to unconditionally love our wives? "As Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her." At first blush ... that is simply overwhelming. Christ died for His Bride. Husbands, be ready to do the same. At second glance, it gets worse. When Christ was dying for His Bride, what was she doing? His disciples were forsaking Him. They were running and hiding. They were denying they even knew Him. Husbands, be ready to lay down your life for a wife that hates you. But in the final look, it becomes the most difficult. It says Christ "gave Himself up." In the final analysis, guys, that is what is required. You "lay down your life." I don't mean that in the "easy" sense of "to die." No, that would be quick. I mean it in the vastly more difficult sense of laying down your life.
Before you step into marriage, you hold your life in your hands. You can do with it what you will. If you're a Christian, of course, there are limitations and requirements, but it is still basically in your own hands. When you marry, however, this is no longer the case. The love that you are mandated to give your wife means that you lay down your own life. You no longer get to do what you want to do. You no longer get to be what you want to be. You surrender your hopes and dreams, plans and goals, your expectations for yourself. Guys, you don't even get the luxury of a "mid-life crisis" because when you marry you give your self up.
Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church. That means that you love her without condition. That means that you surrender your self on her behalf. That means that everything else (except Christ, of course) becomes secondary to her ... which includes you. Most husbands are not willing to obey that command. We cannot afford, however, to fail to do so. It is costing our society, our wives, and our families far too much when we refuse. I'll tell you what -- if you don't want to do it, why don't you argue your position with the One who gave the command. See how that works for you. Until then, husbands, love your wives.
3 comments:
Always disappointed when you leave out the context. In this case it helps make it less overwhelming as well:
Eph 5:26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
Eph 5:27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
Eph 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
IE: Husbands remember that when you are loving your wife you are loving yourself. It is you who will be presented with the glorious wife, without spot or wrinkle, but holy and without blemish.
And it reminds us that it is 'the word' that will produce this result, not ourselves... again making the infinitely overwhelming task a little less.
Add to that our knowledge that it is God working through us and not our own work.... and perhaps we can be merely 'whelmed' :)
Well, first, I clearly, intentionally, and even with you in mind wrote, "There is more and it is important and you had likely have that entire passage memorized, husbands."
More to the point, if you would like to write these, please do. I was trying to make my own point. Husbands need to surrender self. You have expanded on the role of the husband (as does the expanded text), but if you tell husbands, "Your job is to sanctify your wife" (which it is), that will be your focus. I had something else to say.
Finally, surely you know it is not possible to include all context in all posts. Surely. I mean, we also need the context of Eph. 5:1 ("Be imitators of God"), 5:2 ("Walk in love"), 5:10 ("Try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord"), and 5:17 ("Do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is") ... for starters. We need to know what it means (and doesn't mean) to be "submitting to one another"(5:21). It would also be wise to have the context of Phil. 2:12-13, Phil. 4:13, Eph. 3:14-21, and 1 Peter 3:7. This would likely give husbands a helpful beginning. But ... it wasn't my goal to put all of that in one post ...
Beautiful post, Stan. ~ 10km
Post a Comment