I just have to add this little bit. I just read an article from MSN on the top 10 reasons young men (ages 25-33) don't want to commit. Lo and behold, they're quite predictable. For instance, Reason #1: Men can get sex without marriage. Surprise, surprise! The old "Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free" is crass and cold ... but apparently true. And the corollary, Reason #2, is just as obvious. Men can enjoy the benefits of having a wife by cohabiting rather than marrying. So ... why marry? Equally obvious is Reason #8: Men face few social pressures to marry. Given #1 and #2, now add to the decline of the understanding of marriage and the fall of morality, and there is very little today in the realm of social pressure to marry.
It's not a stunning study. There are no stark revelations. The primary reason (in terms of overall motivation) that young men do not want to get married is that they are self-centered. They want to guard their finances, wait to have children, avoid compromise and change, and enjoy the single life as long as possible. In other words, we've made God's perception that marriage is right and beautiful and the best into a "later possibility" before everything I want to get for myself. There is no downside to not marrying, like celibacy, lack of companionship, or social pressure. So why do it? Indulge your self-centeredness!
(Now, ladies, before you jump on this bandwagon, I think you'd have to admit that a large portion of women today are equally motivated by self-centeredness, so let's not jump on this "Men are pigs!" mindset, okay?)
2 comments:
Egocentric. Worldly. Sad.
I think there is a fear of fickle-ness, too. "I want to be happy!" is the cry, but most don't want to expend the energy toward that goal. They want to depend upon some person for their happiness. That kind never lasts because a human will fail every time. We just do not have perfection perfected :)
Sadly, you are describing me until age 26. I had no intention of marrying until I met my wife to be, and I was busy living in sin, just as you describe, while attending church every week. Of course, back then, I thought being a Christian meant... going to church every week!
I'm so glad my girls go to a Christian school. While I understand that they will eventually make their own choices - and they might choose wrongly. I know that they have been grounded in the Bible and have a much better foundation to make Biblical choices than I did as a teen and beyond.
To me, this just speaks further to our complete inablity to choose God (and make Godly choices without being in Christ). Something must change within us, like it did with me when I met my wife. And she was no more a Christian than me - just a "churchgoer." That change had to have been initiated by God!
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