Paul of Paul's Ponderings suggests we are asking the wrong questions. He suggests that we are being too concerned with being right and not concerned with the people with whom we are speaking. He asks, "Do you want to be right or do you want to plant and water the seed of the gospel in the hearts of people?" Von, of Von's Takes argues that Christians need to be right because they are commanded to be.
This question of "being right" isn't new. It's often hotly debated among Christians. (Isn't that ironic? The question of whether or not Christians need to be right is hotly debated ... odd. Odd because it shouldn't be a question. Odd because those who would argue "no" are ... arguing. Odd.) But, as Von has pointed out, in our world the idea that someone would claim to be right is offensive because no one should believe that there is revealed truth. Indeed, among Americans, 75% say they believe there is no absolute truth. This statistic lies starkly against the very same number that say they are Christians. Now, isn't that contradictory? "I believe in Jesus ... although there is no real truth."
There needs to be something else here. There needs to be a right position that is concerned about its listeners. Many complain about the infighting among Christians about doctrine, for instance. "Doctrine divides," they say. Well, sure it does. That's the point. Doctrine says, "This is right and if you are outside of this, you are wrong." Even those who say, "We shouldn't argue about doctrine" are making a doctrinal statement: "We shouldn't argue about doctrine, and those who do are wrong." Every single truth claim we make divides. You either agree ... or disagree. It is the nature of truth claims. It is not a problem with truth or a problem of defending the truth. We are commanded to be "ready to make a defense to anyone who asks" (1 Peter 3:15). The problem is in ignoring the rest of the story. We are to speak the truth ... "in love" (Eph. 4:15). We are to be ready to make a defense to anyone who asks ... "with gentleness and reverence" (1 Peter 3:15). We are to select words that "give grace to those who hear" (Eph. 4:29).
We cannot -- we must not abandon the defense of the truth. Indeed, part of the defense of the truth is the very quest for it. None of us has arrived. I've found many times that in discussing my views with those who disagree, I am forced to change my views. That's a good thing. We cannot abandon the defense of the truth, especially among ourselves. The necessity is not in abandoning the dialogue. The necessity is love, gentleness, edification. If we would take into account the audience with whom we are communicating and put their well-being first and foremost in our intentions, would we withhold the truth from them, or would we simply be careful to put it in ways that they might be best able to get it?
Being right isn't a bad thing. Abdicating truth for peace is. The two are not mutually exclusive. It is possible to present the truth in love. It is not always possible to be at peace with all men, but it is possible to monitor myself to be as concerned for those around me as I am for the truth. Indeed, it isn't merely possible; it is required.
3 comments:
Stan said:
"The necessity is not in abandoning the dialogue. The necessity is love, gentleness, edification. If we would take into account the audience with whom we are communicating and put their well-being first and foremost in our intentions, would we withhold the truth from them, or would we simply be careful to put it in ways that they might be best able to get it?"
I love this. My husband and I were discussing this tonight. I was explaining why I can receive correction and input from a couple of people, but I have a more difficult time hearing it from others (even if they are in the right).
I told him I think it is because the one person is my boss who is also a pastor. Maybe it is his years of being a Christian or being a pastor over a tender flock...but he has such a gift in correcting me. I always feel when he shares things with me it is because he wants the best for me in my spiritual life...it is completely out of love. He never acts as if I offend him or that he thinks less of me. But it truly seems it is out of genuine love for me that he is coming beside me with the correction to build me up. He and his wife are such sweet blessings in my life.
When some others try to correct me, it is because my view offends their view or comfort zone. It is almost out of self-defense that they attempt to correct me, like it makes them feel better. It seems it is more about something other than concern about God's glory and my spiritual growth. I tend to immediately become defensive if I do not feel correction is out of love for God's and my best interest.
PS: Stan, just in the time I have known you, it truly seems you have grown tremendously in dealing with all of us (your brothers and sisters in Christ online). Thank you for trying to be gentle with your responses to some of us who at times each month can be a tad emotional for a few days!
"I tend to immediately become defensive if I do not feel correction is out of love for God's and my best interest."
That's the key, isn't it? On one hand, if there is no love, then all I can do is ... how does Paul put it -- "a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal" (1 Cor. 13:1). On the other hand, if the person to whom I am speaking is convinced that I love them (that my primary concern is their best interest), then I can even be rude and not hurt their feelings. (I'm not recommending it; I'm simply illustrating a point.)
It is my personal belief that this extends to the unsaved as well. If we want to correct their lives by sharing the Gospel with them, we need to earn the right. We need to be there, demonstrating love to them long before we tell them what they need (Christ). That's my personal belief.
I think the main point you make here is that we have to represent the truth in love. Ephesians 4:15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.
I think this means that we cannot condemn the person even as we are rebuking their godlessness lest we appoint ourselves judge over them, usurping God. This is the problem with Rev. Phelps (of the God hates...signs), but there are a million subtler ways to fall into the Judge and Jury trap, to become a mini-Phelps.
And of course we cannot agree with them if they are wrong. We mislead them if we encourage them to go on believing in falsehoods. We are not here to make sinners feel good about themselves as some churches did by marching in the San Diego Gay Pride parade with rainbow wrapped crosses. We mustn't tickle the false spirit but nurture the true one.
The battle is for the heart of the person. We must ask God to put the right words in our mouths to move the heart in question toward Him. We must understand that it is not us who convinces the unbeliever, but God, every step of the way.
You're last point is well-taken in the comments. It's a priviledge to speak the mind of Christ to someone, and the only way to do that is to be as Christ-led as possible. I would say that we earn the right to speak the truth in love because we have surrendered to God's will. In other words, if we let Christ guide us in our interaction with the unbeliever, He will guide our actions and words as a result.
Excellent post!
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