The Error of Reparative Therapy

As I indicated, Exodus, International, is closing shop. And, as I indicated, I'm not heartbroken over it. I think that love demands that we stand on what is right according to God's Word, but that making "more moral" people out of immoral people is not the aim of Christianity. But there is something there that I think needs to be mentioned.

The aim of the organization was "reparative therapy". Reparative or Conversion Therapy is an effort to convert those with homosexual desires into heterosexuals. They try a variety of methods which could include aversion therapy (where you inflict unpleasantness on someone when they indicate the wrong choice), psychological treatment, and "AA"-type efforts. As a minimum, they hope to make them celibate and be willing to put up with it, but hopefully they will be good heterosexuals. These efforts are often applauded by Christians because, after all, making people more moral is a good thing, right? Right?

The ultimate goal is to assist the poor homosexual sinner to become a heterosexual and get married because, as everyone knows, true fulfillment is found in marriage. Well, everyone except Jesus, I suppose. While Jesus wholeheartedly endorsed marriage, it should be noted that 1) He Himself never married (Does that suggest that He was never fulfilled?) and 2) He assured His disciples that "there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother's womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven" (Matt 19:12). Huh? Apparently true fulfillment is not manifestly found in marriage in all cases.

But there is, lurking behind all this, another error. Here's the thinking. "They have sexual desires for the same sex and they want to get married." Okay, that could be factual. "They would like to redefine marriage to include same-sex; we know that's not right." Okay, I'll go along with that, too. "So, if they are willing, we'd like to help them change their desires so that they can have desire for the opposite sex and get married." Did you see the error? No, I doubt that you did.

I doubt that you did because we are so immersed in modern thinking on the subject that we can't see it for the trees. We assume that marriage is right and good when it is the product of sexual desire. "Now, wait a minute!" some might object. I say "some" because I'm pretty sure that a lot would agree at the outset. Okay, not "sexual desire", but something other than love. "Now, wait a minute!" some might object (again). "It's all about love!" No, I don't think you believe that. Because we love our mothers and certainly don't want to marry them. We love lots of people and things we don't want to marry. So it's not simply about love. It's about something between sexual desire and love. Or, perhaps, a merger of the two.

And that is a mistake.

In days gone by it was a given that marriages were covenants arranged by parents. It was a biblical arrangement as well. And it is the marriage arranged by the Father for His Son. His Bride is referred to as "the chosen" because the Father "chose us in Him before the foundation of the world" (Eph 1:4). Now, if God considers arranged marriages as a good thing -- you know, good enough for the Son of God -- then it must be ... a good thing. And if, by definition, arranged marriages do not include the necessity of an initial merger of sexual desire and love, then I would suggest that a biblical point of view would not include that recipe as the prime component of marriage.

Paul commands husbands to love their wives. If love is merely lust, it isn't a reasonable command. If love is merely an emotion, it isn't a reasonable command. So, while I'm quite confident that the natural result of biblical love is that warm emotion we all recognize as love, I'm equally sure that God's version of love doesn't require either lust or affection to start out. That is, it doesn't take you feeling like it to obey the command to love.

And that would mean that the aim of reparative therapy was misguided. Trying to generate warm feelings of people sexually attracted to same sex toward people of the opposite sex is pointless for someone who is endeavoring to obey God in His Word. If it is true that "It is not good for man to be alone" (Gen 2:18) and if it is true that "Because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband" (1 Cor 7:2), then the gender for whom you lust is irrelevant in order to align yourself with God's perspective. Obedience is. Feelings follow. And to one who intends to "flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart" (2 Tim 2:22), personal lusts are irrelevant. A heart to follow God is what's needed. That, I think, is a serious problem with the "reparative therapy" concept. It is an attempt to change personal lusts. What is needed is a heart to pursue righteousness. And, fortunately, that's not just for those suffering from homosexual desires. That would include us all.