Winning Isn't Everything

I am very interested in the process of Apologetics, the rational defense of the faith. The Bible commands it. Reason demands it. I'm in favor. There are a lot of areas in which I find myself engaged in this defense. There is the defense from without -- defending the faith against skeptical unbelievers. There is the defense from within -- defending orthodoxy against skeptical believers. On any given day I may have to explain why I believe there is a God at all or why I am quite certain that the Trinity is basic Christian doctrine. Beyond that, I find myself defending against other assaults, like this whole "same-sex marriage" concept. They are not, technically attacking my faith, but they are indeed making threats. (For a very good explanation of what the issues are and why we need to engage in that debate, see Prop 8: Why Engage the Issue? from Stand to Reason.) And so I find myself often engaged in debates with dissenters, friendly and hostile, over a wide range of positions and concerns. I believe that my positions are rational and biblically and rationally defensible. So I do it and even enjoy it.

This whole thing is not without its problems, however. When it comes to Atheists and liberal Christians and outliers like the Mormons or the Jehovah's Witnesses or "gay" rights activists or any other group who may be hostile to the faith (as opposed to those with friendly disagreement), defending the faith has its down side. These types will have run into a host of others who have poorly represented both Christianity and good reasoning. They will have heard all sorts of things that I don't believe and experienced a variety of responses that I don't offer. They will arrive with preconceptions about their positions, to be sure, but also with preconceptions about mine. And most of the time I'll end up defending myself from positions I never have had. Guilty by association. "Oh, yeah," they'll think (or say), "I know your type. You believe _____" ... and I don't, but by now the entire conversation has derailed.

The other major problem is the animosity it creates. You see, the concept of a "debate" includes the concept of "win or lose". And now we're no longer comparing evidence and rationale; we're competing. In this situation, there are winners and losers, and no one wants to be the loser. Of course, there is no "set of rules", no judge who rules on the outcome -- "I declare this side the winner!" No, the judges are the individuals making the arguments and the observers listening to them, and their conclusions may not be based on merits of the arguments, but on the presumptions they brought in with them (especially in terms of the previous paragraph).

So we end up with a question. Of what value is it to defend the faith, to hold your ground against lies? You see, providing the best possible argument (typically the intent of the word "win") isn't the only concern. Are we representing Christ well? Is there the possibility of a good outcome (like someone might change their mind), or is it more likely that the whole thing will result in negativity regardless of the quality of the argument? Factor in the reality that many attacks are smoke screens, not actually thrown up to "win", but simply to avoid the question. Here, think about it through an example. It is abundantly clear that the Bible defines marriage as the union of a man and a woman. Scripture and human history undeniably affirm this. Beyond that, there is no doubt that the Bible considers homosexual activities as sin. The facts are indisputable. The arguments are seamless. The only problem is this: If you make those arguments, you will be perceived as a hater, a bigot, narrow-minded, a "fundamentalist" (which is intended as an insult). Prove that marriage is defined as an exclusively heterosexual relationship and homosexual relationships are sinful, and you won't be winning over the homosexual community; you'll be making enemies of them. Stand your ground on marriage and sin and then try to share Christ with a "gay" coworker and see how that goes. See the problem?

It is true. Winning isn't everything. I think, perhaps, it is in that win/lose mindset that we run into problems. The goal is not winning. We are commanded "always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence" (1 Peter 3:15). The goal is not to win, but to "give an account". And there is, in this very command, another hint. We are to make a defense "with gentleness and reverence". You see, as in all things, the goal is love. From that perspective it is important, if we love God, to stand for what He stands for for His sake. It is important, if God knows what's best for His creation, to stand for what He stands for for the sake of His creation. Conversely, if we love God and others, failing to stand for the truth is failing God and failing others. Using a simple illustration, refusing to warn a loved one that they are about to swallow poison because they are enthusiastic about drinking it is not love, even if you will be perceived negatively. It's not about us. It's not about winning or losing. It's about God and our neighbors. We must stand for the truth. We must do it with gentleness and respect. We must do it for others. Because, indeed, winning isn't everything. In this situation, it actually isn't anything. Love is.