I'm currently in the midst of an interesting book. The title is Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High, by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler, and Stephen R. Covey. These guys set out to discover what it is that sets successful businesses apart from less successful businesses. In their study, though, they found out that the primary difference between the two was people. So they studied further what sets successful people apart from less successful people. As they studied this concept, what they found was that successful people had an approach to communication that differed from everyone else. Thus, the book is about crucial conversations rather than successful people or businesses.
What I have found fascinating thus far is that these men did not set out as Christians to produce something Christian, but what they have produced sounds decidedly Christian. The secret, they suggest, to successful interactions with people is to "start with heart". Now, of course, there is a lot more to it and I'm still working my way through the book, but at the core, they say, the best way to have proper dialog with people in the most productive way possible is to care about the people with whom you are having the dialog. The book even points out, "This is not a technique." You can't fake it. You have to genuinely care about the people with whom you are interacting if you want to have the best possible outcome. Funny thing. The command of Scripture is "love your neighbor." Kind of like "You have to genuinely care about the people with whom you are interacting." This, they say, is the absolute core and fundamental key to success in conversations at work, at home, wherever you care to go.
I am convinced that truth is truth. Or, as the saints before me put it, all truth is God's truth. Science equivocates. Philosophy meanders. Psychology wanders about. But in the end, I suspect, the truth will be that God was right from the beginning. People work better when they care about each other. Life is better lived with concern for our fellow man. Things are a lot smoother when we aren't self-centered. And I could go on, but it would start to get a bit pointed ...
8 comments:
Oh do go on!
It's much better if you fill in the blanks. :)
People like to say that God is a great big killjoy, but Who better to know what is best for us than the Creator of us. If you want to know the best way to maintain a healthy flux capacitor, you don't ask the flux capacitor what it wants to do, you ask the inventor of the flux capacitor. Individually, we are exponentially more complex than a flux capacitor, and as a group even more complex on top of that.
Yeah, okay ... but you do know that there's no such thing as a "flux capacitor", right? :)
The truth is that when bosses refuse to use egoistic qualifiers and instead govern their businesses through the prism of reality they achieve a sustainable equilibrium that leads to success, which is what the success gurus were getting at. In other words (plain English?) they blend the needs of the employees with the needs of the company, and they listen to the needs of the employee.
Just this morning I was waiting for a potential client to show up at his business when someone greeted me. I looked up to see an old friend I worked with for 11 years (1985-1996). I asked him if he was working that day, and he scoffed at me, "Jimmy, you know I don't work Mondays." Then I realized he had the same schedule I set up with him in 1991! He and his cousin needed off Mondays for some good reason (volunteering at church I think) and they were still off that day 18 years later. On top of that, he confirmed the other two cooks were off the same day they were always off back in the day. Who picked those days off? They did. I'm glad I listened to them.
Yeah huh! I saw it in Back To The Future. That can't be fake, I saw it on TV. :P
Jim, what are you trying to do, make businesses reasonable? Come on! :)
David, you're right. My bad. :)
The point about communication is very, very well taken. It's only been in the last couple of years that I've realized how critical good communications skills are to success in the professional world.
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