Who's to Blame?

We can debate this issue 'til the cows come home. Should society alter the definition of "marriage" to allow "same-sex couples" to be included in the new definition? A large portion of "religious conservatives" (whatever that really means) argue that "same-sex couples are immoral, so they shouldn't be allowed to marry." A smaller group says, "Marriage is what it is; you can't redefine it to include same-sex couples." (Note: The first argument is from a moral/religious view; the second is from a logical view. They aren't the same.) In most states in the U.S., there is no such thing as "same-sex marriage." Still, the question is being asked ... again and again. Most recently, Iowa's Supreme Court examined the question. And while there is little doubt what I think about it, here's what I foresee. Eventually the nation is going to cave. The cases are going to hit the fan. The protests will be too loud and the responses too quiet. By a long and slow process started long ago, American mindsets will shift and marriage as it stands will be lost.

Don't misunderstand. It's not "those rotten gays" that I blame. The problem is elsewhere. And because it is elsewhere, it won't stop at marriage. It will continue to erode all sorts of institutions and traditions until ... well, we'll see what happens then.

So, who is to blame? Well, the first line is humans in general. You know, those "dead in sin," hostile to God, that kind of thing. You know, the ones that the Bible describes this way:

None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one (Rom 3:10-12).

Now, in case you were saying, "Yeah, those dirty rotten sinners!", I need to point out that the description is of humans, not "them." That would be ... all of us.

Still, as Christians, we are changed, saved, born again, baptized into Jesus's death and resurrected to new life. We're different. Sure, we are. Or, we ought to be. The difficulty is that it's so hard to tell. We have similar numbers of people shacking up, divorcing, committing adultery, stealing ... well, sinning just like the rest. While the one we claim to follow said, "By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another" (John 13:35), we remain as divided as any other group. While we are the ones who receive the Spirit of God who "will guide you into all the truth" (John 16:13), we have conferences to explain why that particular group of Christians is so wrong that we need to shoot them on sight. (I exaggerate only slightly.) And even though we have some of the best minds in the world as Christians and some outstanding sources for apologetics, it seems like your average Christian on the street can't receive the simplest challenge without responding in anger and confusion.

Here's the bottom line. Why is it that marriage is on the verge of being overturned to mean something different in our society? It is first and foremost because Christians in our society have turned it over to mean something different. We dislodged the biblical explanation that it was a union of two into one. If we hadn't, divorce among Christians would be too horrible to contemplate. We bought the lie that it was about "love" and "fulfillment" and "equality" and perpetuated it. We perpetuated it when we allowed "man and wife" to change to "husband and wife." We built on it when we edged out "wives, submit to your husbands" in favor of "submit to one another" (a completely nonsensical concept taken out of context as this is). We further compounded the problem when we neglected the God-given structure we were commanded. Human beings were made for a purpose. Our primary purpose is, of course, to glorify our Maker. That purpose, however, was made specific. "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth" (Gen 1:28). God made Man to do it and made Woman to assist him in doing it (Gen 2:18). When we decided, with the rest of our world, that it was all about self-fulfillment and self-gratification, marriage lost its meaning among Christians.

Why doesn't the world see how nonsensical "same-sex marriage" is? Sure, there is the problem of sin. They are blinded to what God wants. Still, the most obvious reason is that Christians haven't stood their ground. We haven't offered examples of living out lives of dying to self for the benefit of others, obeying Christ, submitting to husbands, loving wives to the point of dying, raising godly offspring, representing Christ to those around us. We've bought the notion that our job is, well, to let those people in church tell our neighbors because, after all, the gospel isn't very attractive on its own. There is a lot of blame lying about. I know there's some here with my name on it. I'm fairly sure there's some here for you, too. Perhaps, as we try to defend marriage (without really grasping what it is), we ought to take the log out of our own eye. Yes, they need to hear the truth preached, but there is an old saying: Actions speak louder than words.