What is a Man?

What is a man? What is it that defines "maleness"?

Physically, science will tell us that it is that Y chromosome. That determines whether a person is male or female. That determines what reproductive organs a person will have, the singular distinctive. Of course, I'm not looking for that aspect of male. We know, for instance, that some people with the Y Chromosome feel as if they should be female ... and even take drastic medical steps to make themselves that way. They seem to be lacking "maleness" even though they have the physical requirements in place. So what is it that defines "maleness"?

It does no good to argue that men and women are the same. They simply aren't. Despite the best efforts of society in general and feminists in particular, men are not women. Indeed, the cry that men should "get in touch with their feminine side," rather than equalizing, demonstrates a difference. There are traits that are feminine and traits that are masculine. What are those masculine traits? It also does no good to argue that not all men have a particular masculine trait. Even the Bible recognizes that a man can be "effeminate". (Note that the same exception clause applies to those rare women who bear masculine resemblance.) The exception does not negate the norm. So, regardless of their universality, what are typical masculine traits?

Men are typically regarded as more powerful than women. Sometimes that power is physical. Most people agree that the strongest men in terms of muscular power or physical prowess will always be stronger than the strongest women. It seems to simply be a matter of physical construction. A corollary to this, then, is the perception that males are tougher than females. This is often a matter of physical structure, but it is equally a matter of emotional capability as well. Women tend to be more sensitive, more compassionate, more emotive, while men tend to be viewed as the opposite. Stereotypically, for instance, if a cat is killed in the road and a husband and wife come across it, the husband will be required to clean up the dead body because the wife will be too upset. That's the kind of "tough" to which I'm referring. Generally, the perception is that men are not as in touch with their emotions as women are.

Men tend to be more assertive, more risk-taking. An illustration might do. When I was a young father, we had a beach near us that had a small cliff face and a small "private" beach area. You could always tell the kids who were with their fathers and not their mothers because the fathers would let those kids climb down the rocks to this fun spot while mothers wouldn't allow it. It was too dangerous. Stereotypically, men tend to be more independent and aggressive. They tend to be more logical and objective. They tend to be more dominant. Generally, it is the father in the family who disciplines his children, not the mother. Men tend to be more visually-oriented. Men tend to be more ambitious, more success or goal oriented, and certainly more competitive than women. One thing that almost all men have in common is that they want to feel significant. They want to feel as if they are necessary, respected, doing something worthwhile. It is interesting that one of the very few specific commands of God to wives on how they should treat their husbands is to respect them (Eph. 5:33).

Keep in mind, now, I'm speaking stereotypically here. There are exceptions among men and exceptions among women. More to the point, there are modifications. Our society for quite awhile now has decided incrementally that men shouldn't be men. Their physical superiority leads to greater damage in a fight, and that's bad. Their diminished sense of compassion can fail to stop them from doing harm. The very things that make them "male" also can make them harmful. So "male" is bad, we've decided, and "female" is good. Let's make them all "female".

The twisting here of truth and right is a serious problem. First, it ignores the fact that "feminine" has traits that can cause damage as well. "Masculine" is not the only culprit. Second, it ignores the fact that God made men. He had a reason for making them different from women. We should be celebrating the differences while cultivating the necessary mechanisms to prevent the abuses, not eliminating the differences. That says, "Yeah, God, we got that You intended it that way, but we're certain You were wrong and we're quite sure we have a better idea." If God is God and He intended men to be men and women to be women, it is essential that we stop pressing men to be "in touch with their feminine side" and learn, instead, to handle their masculine side. It seems to me that men and women, rather than countering each other, complement each other, making up in their strengths for the weaknesses in the other. Perhaps we should teach men and women to play to their strengths and stop trying to be the other.