We all know what pornography is. It's that unabashed display of sexuality that is offered in most video stores or in that rack of magazines behind the counter or in some adult "bookstore" (as if it's a reading thing). Well, okay, that is pornography, but most people don't realize that the pornography we most readily identify is not the only form -- it's the male form. There is also a female version. You might know it by its most recognizable trademark name, Harlequin Romance. It surely doesn't stop there. No, it's not visual. There is no doubt, however, that it is pornographic. It appeals to the woman's emotions, drawing graphic images of a stunning young man who sweeps the young, mildly protesting damsel off her feet and makes her his. It's just as much pornography as the male version without the blatant visuals.
There has been some debate among Christians as to whether or not such things should be allowed in our bedrooms. One side argues that what goes on behind closed doors between a husband and a wife is between a husband and a wife. Doug Wilson, author and pastor of Christ Church of Moscow, Idaho, gave an excellent illustration of the problem with this idea. Imagine you're a happily married Christian couple, and your new neighbors drop by for a visit. "Hey," they say, "you're a lovely couple. Why don't you come over to our house and have sex with us?" "Oh, no," you politely but firmly say, "we don't do that kind of thing." "Oh, okay," they continue, "then how about coming over and watching us have sex?" "No, no ... no thanks," you reply. "Oh, alright, we'll tell you what. We'll video our sex and you can watch it in the privacy of your own home." You see, while it may be true that what goes on behind closed doors between a husband and a wife is between just them, the minute you invite pornography into that session, it is no longer simply between husband and wife.
There is another reason not to do it. Pornography is a thief. We understand that The Chronicles of Narnia or The Lord of the Rings is fantasy. We don't actually believe that there is as White Witch or Orcs. We have mental mechanisms that classify that as "fantasy" and not "reality". Pornography, on the other hand, seems to bypass those mental mechanisms. Men and women alike seem to get caught in this vortex of the lie, telling them that women are supposed to be look like this and men are supposed to act like that and people are supposed to do these kinds of things in the bedroom and react that kind of way. And we buy the lie, entirely forgetting that they are actors and actresses in a movie, models in a magazine, or fictional characters written into a book. They are fantasy characters, built to cater to the unreal dreams of men and women alike. Unfortunately, people who go there begin to lose their grip on reality. This media steals your joy of the real thing and substitutes unrest for something that doesn't exist. They think that women are objects, sex is simply a physical act, and men are to be held to fantasy standards. They steal from us things that no insurance company can replace and no amount of money can buy back.
One of the problems is illustrated by Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ. The movie went a long way toward capturing the physical trauma Jesus endured at His crucifixion. What the movie was unable to portray was the much greater torment He suffered when He was separated from His Father. In a similar way, pornography goes a long way toward displaying the physical and perhaps even the emotional (in female pornography) aspects, but it misses the key point. When God instituted marriage, it included "they shall become one flesh" (Gen. 2:24). Paul says that in the act of sex there is a union that occurs that is not visible; neither is it avoidable (1 Cor. 6:16). Pornography misses this union, lies to us about its existence, denies the spiritual aspect of sex, and diminishes God's design to a mere physical act.
Isn't it sad that so many -- even Christians -- invite this thief into their homes? They don't seem to realize the addictive nature. They don't seem to recognize the message that whatever you are isn't good enough and whatever you're doing isn't enough. The losses are phenomenal ... and we invite this thief in!
Don't get conned. The warning won't show up in your email. You won't likely see an exposé on CBS. There will be no complete story at 11. If you let this thief in, you'll lose more than you realize. The longer you let him stay, the more he is entrenched. It's not worth it. Whether it be the romance novel or the sex video, you cannot afford to let it in your house.
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