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Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Husbands, Love Your Wives

Husbands, love your wives.

Our lives these days are complicated by many things. We have political and environmental woes, economic worries, cultural issues, declining moral values, and churches that are straying from the Gospel to matters less important. There are these and a whole host of other things over which we have no control weighing on our daily lives. There are, however, things that we do control. There are areas of our lives, in fact, in which we have a higher impact than any other human being.

Husbands, love your wives.

Humans have a variety of relationships. We have family and friends, co-workers and bosses, neighbors and compatriots. We choose some and some we don't. The most intense of these relationships is generally family which, oddly (because it is the most intense) we don't choose. We don't get to decide who our parents will be. We don't get to decide who our aunts, uncles, or grandparents will be. We don't get to decide who our siblings will be, and we certainly don't get to decide whom they will choose for a spouse. The most personal of all these familial relationships, however, is our own choice. As such, we have the most impact in that area of life.

Husbands, love your wives.

Much is made these days of the biblical concept of "mutual submission". In Eph. 5:21 we read, "Be subject to one another in the fear of Christ." Plain as day. The very next verse is the hot button issue that sparks this "mutual submission" drive. "Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord" (Eph. 5:22). "Oh, that's not right," they say. "It must be mutual submission -- 'subject to one another." It's a funny thing, though. The actual text behind verse 22 doesn't actually have the word "subject" in it. Most literally, it would read, "Wives, to your own husbands ..." The word "subject" is implied from verse 21. So maybe it is about mutual submission. I think it is. But that's where I stop agreeing. Most people who argue for mutual submission argue for mutual submission in kind. To me that's a nonsensical concept. "You submit to me and I submit to you. You obey me and I obey you." Huh?? Take it to the text and it gets even more bizarre. Wives submit to their husbands "as to the Lord." Yeah, you know, like the way God submits to us. Oh, wait ... that's not right. So in what sense can I agree that it is mutual submission? It is mutual in that both sides submit ... lay down their selves. (Sorry about the grammar.) Both sides set self aside for the other, but they don't necessarily do it in the same way. Wives give their husbands what they need, which primarily is devotion and respect. Husbands, on the other hand, are commanded to love their wives in the same way that Christ loved the Church (Eph. 5:25). In what way was Christ in submission?
Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross (Phil. 2:5-8).
He died. He was equal with God, and He quite literally humbled Himself to death. That, husbands, is submission. Oh, He didn't surrender His role as the leader of the Church. He didn't surrender His God-given authority. Indeed, because of that humbling, Paul goes on to say that He was elevated above every other name, and everyone would call Him ... get this ... Lord (Phil. 2:9-11). Yes, He subjected Himself to death for the sake of the Church. No, He didn't submit to obeying the Church.

Husband, love your wife. Love your wife just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her (Eph. 5:25). Learn to set self aside on her behalf. Learn to teach her the Word (Eph. 5:26). Learn to understand her (1 Peter 3:7). Don't wait for her to be a good wife. Treat her as a precious treasure. Stop complaining about her faults and give her the security and love she needs. Love her as you love your own body.

There are many problems in our world today. Most of them are beyond our capacity to change. We have many relationships in life. Most of them are not of our choosing. But husbands, we have a clear, unequivocal command from God to set our own preferences aside in favor of our wives. We have the model we need in Christ. We know what it looks like because we do it to ourselves every day. We have no excuse because we are enabled by God to do what we need to do.

Husbands, love your wives.

2 comments:

Jim Jordan said...

Amen to that. My wife drives the '07 Lexus and I drive her old mini-van. That's submission, eh?

Great post.

Stan said...

Funny. I put my foot down and insisted that my wife drive the better car as well. And I call that submission on my part.