Fatherly Advice

The other day I asked for insight on what a parent should do if an adult child is heading off in a wrong direction. I got some reasonably good responses, but I received this one via email and found it quite helpful. I figured that if anyone else was facing the same question (and anyone with children, adult or otherwise, will be), perhaps it will be beneficial to you as well. So I share this with you all. I didn't write it. My father did.

We are deeply concerned about the direction our adult children and grandchildren take. I believe we have a responsibility to, in love, clearly explain the sorrow, hurt, and why you are grieved and concerned about the direction they are taking. If the Adult Child were mine, here's the steps to consider.

1. PRAY

2. Ask the Holy Spirit to examine my life to see where I may have failed the child and purpose to ask forgiveness.

3. Find a time to meet without distractions.

4. Start the meeting by asking forgiveness (if needed). Then ask if there are actions that have not been helpful in the child's difficult circumstances.

5. Express your deep sadness, grief, and sorrow for the direction he/she is taking and the concern for the sad results of not going God's way.

6. Express how the Holy Spirit is grieved by not going God's way

7. Explain from scripture the clear instructions concerning God's commandments.

8. Let him/her know that you will be praying that they go God's way.

Very wise, I think. Insightful. I suppose it's from much practice ... you know, having an adult child who makes wrong choices. Again, sorry for that, Dad. Thanks for caring enough to put yourself on the line, and thanks for this input on the question.