There has been a debate of late in certain circles (thanks to a well-known golfer who will remain nameless) about whether or not there is such a thing as "sex addiction". The world of psychology once thought there was, but then they changed their minds because, well, that's a moral issue, isn't it? (You see, being an alcoholic, for instance, isn't immoral ... or something like that.) And so the debate goes on.
One of the concerns I heard recently on the topic was quite odd to me. It seems that wives are somewhat skeptical about the concept of sexual addiction because they think it just gives their husbands an excuse to cheat. Now I'm confused. Since when was "addiction" an excuse to be addicted? Since when was being addicted to something an approval of that something?
Apparently I'm the only one confused. It seems that a large number of people believe that "if you just can't help yourself, then it must be okay." I mean, if you are attracted to the same gender, it must be okay to carry out that attraction, right? Some go so far as to argue that it's possible that we're born with some of these propensities. If we're born with them (be it the inclination to become addicted or the desire for the same gender), it must not only be acceptable; it must be good. After all "God made me this way", right? And step by step the world goes mad.
A book by William Struthers is titled Wired for Intimacy with the chilling subtitle, "How pornography hijacks the male brain". The book is written from the medical perspective, primarily, explaining the effects of porn on the brain. Dr. Struthers is an Associate Professor of Psychology at Wheaton College. He writes as a Christian doctor who sees a problem outside of the standard psychological and moral difficulties. Pornography, according to Struthers, rewires the male thinking patterns, corrupts all sorts of areas, and makes itself nearly impossible to escape. So ... it must be good, right? I mean, it's part of the brain ... and now I want it!
Frankly, we live in a society that endorses this idea almost wholeheartedly. "If I want it, it must be good." It's good to be rich and famous ... because I want it. You can't be too rich or too thin ... because I want it. Power is good ... as long as I want it. When others have it, I don't want that, so it's bad. I want to have sex with (fill in the blank), so it's good. And just because you want to tell me that it's wrong or that God is against it or something equally pointed doesn't make it right for you to do so because ... I don't want you to. I am, after all, the center of the universe and your freedom ends wherever I please. I want it that way.
It's an insidious and all-too-common way of thinking. "You right-wingers are dirty, rotten, mean-spirited so-and-so's" someone on the left might say, not recognizing that they're being dirty, rotten, and mean-spirited. It's okay for me to be intolerant and judgmental of your views; you just shouldn't be so intolerant and judgmental of mine! In other words, I can do what I want simply because I want to ... and you can't. That, dear friends, makes perfect sense -- or so they tell us.
Well, let's be clear. "Because I want to" is not a valid reason. "Because I want to" doesn't make something moral. Addiction does not excuse actions. We all have inclinations to do what's wrong. And we all have choices. We are not excused because we want or even "must". What is the case, however, is that the heart is deceitful and desperately wicked; who can know it? Feel free to quote me on that.
6 comments:
So... we were created with deceitful and desperately wicked hearts?
Now ... why would you think that?
(FYI, I'd say "born", not "created". When the Bible uses the term "created", it references "from nothing". For us it says "made" -- from something. Further, we're born that way as a product of sin, not as a product of God's design.)
Stan,
Another vital topic for our day. It once again comes down to whose we are, doesn't it? "I have a right to do what I want with my body" is I think about how it goes. Autonomy, not liberty.
There was a clip in a local newspaper about a Hollywood start who just did some public service announcements for a gay-lesbian-bisexual-transvestite group. His comment was pretty telling, it went something like this "I have always hated those who are intolerant of those with a different sexual orientation..." I laughed out loud at the ludicrousness of the statement.
Until we come to see the truth that we are not our own, that we were bought at a price, and learn to manage what is owned by another, the barbarism you describe is inevitable.
"Owned by another". If we could only get that through our thick heads ...
Great post today...
I always look forward to your posts.
I've been saying for a long time now that we are all born with our sins... whether they are addictions, attractions or just certain "feelings". One of the challenges in life is not to embrace them, but to overcome them. To learn that through obedience and prayer, we can overpower those problems we are born with.
It's sad that so many have simply decided to embrace the enemy rather than fight him off, which can't be done until he is recognized as the enemy. And with God's help of course.
These hangups some of us are born with can actually become what saves our life as they can serve a purpose by helping us to understand that we do need a savior.
Of course, if our eyes are always closed, we will likely not see that truth.
Mike: "These hangups some of us are born with can actually become what saves our life as they can serve a purpose by helping us to understand that we do need a savior."
I agree that we're born with ... hangups. I think, for instance, that some people are born with addictive tendencies. All of us have our weaknesses. But this point you made is vital. It should be a sign to each of us that when we encounter something we just can't seem to beat and know it is evil, it ought to drive us to our Savior.
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