Avoid Such Men

There is a set of biblical commands that, in all honesty, is often ignored, hard to obey, and a little puzzling for most of us ... me included. I'll point them out for you.

... avoid such men as these (2 Tim. 3:5).

I wrote you in my letter not to associate with immoral people; I did not at all mean with the immoral people of this world, or with the covetous and swindlers, or with idolaters; for then you would have to go out of the world. But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he should be an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler -- not even to eat with such a one (1 Cor. 5:9-11).

Do not associate with a man given to anger; or go with a hot-tempered man, lest you learn his ways, and find a snare for yourself (Prov. 22:24-25).

If anyone does not obey our instruction in this letter, take special note of that man and do not associate with him, so that he may be put to shame (2 Thess. 3:14).

If your brother sins, go and reprove him in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. And if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax-gatherer (Matt. 18:15-17).

Okay, first, about whom is 2 Tim. 3:5 talking? You have to read the passage, starting at 2 Tim. 3:1. Suffice it to say they are people who present themselves as good teachers and leaders and defy God. Moving on, however, I think you can see a pattern here in these instructions. It is unavoidable that there is a group of people with whom we are not to associate. In Corinthians it even specifies "not even to eat with such a one." The concept comes from all over -- Old Testament and New. The commands come from the wisdom of Solomon, the Apostolic authority of Paul, and the divine word of Christ. These aren't vague, hard to read, difficult to understand passages. There is nothing ambiguous here.

So, what do we know? We know that there are people we are supposed to avoid. We know that they are sinful people. We also know -- and this is of key importance -- that these commands are not in reference to unbelievers. Paul specifically says, "I did not at all mean with the immoral people of this world." The idea is not avoiding sinful people in the world. The idea is avoiding people who claim to be Christians while indulging in sin. What else do we know? Well, we know the purpose of this approach -- to try to push them into repentance. Disassociation here is a last resort after having tried multiple approaches possibly with multiple people in an attempt to get these "believers" to turn from their sin. The 1 Cor. 5 reference, in fact, follows Paul's stunning "I have decided to deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of his flesh" (1 Cor 5:5) passage. It is a method intended to shock them into restoration, not a punitive measure.

So ... what's the problem? Well, this seems really hard for us Christians to actually do. First, it seems counterproductive. I mean, if you aren't spending time with them, how can you get them to return? Of course, this entirely misses the point that before you stop associating with them, you spent a great deal of time and effort trying to get them to repent. Oh ... well ... look, it seems so ... I don't know ... harsh. I mean, it seems as if it's saying that we can associate with the unsaved but can't associate with the saved who are practicing sin. Doesn't that seem odd? Yes, yes, I can see that it does. Still, is it up for a vote? Did God suggest it or command it? Of course, where the rubber really meets the road is when you drag this theoretical down to the practical. It's all well and good to say, "Don't associate with people who claim to be Christians while willfully indulging in sin", but what if it is your best friend, your brother, your wife or husband?

You see, I don't have all the answers. I don't really understand fully how this works. I don't know what to do with it when it is someone as close as the family who lives in your home. I don't know how you handle, say, a family reunion and it is a relative of whom we are speaking. I don't know how to handle every instance. I do see that it says it. I do see that it isn't a suggestion; it is a command. And I do see that it is part of a process that doesn't simply start with "I'm not associating with you anymore." Maybe we should just start with that and see where it goes?