I wrote the other day about "I deserve better". It was a reminder of what we deserve, a call not to think too highly of ourselves. There is another side of properly understanding what we deserve, a positive side.
In Paul's epistle to Rome, he mentions one of our problems: "Even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God, or give thanks" (Rom 1:21). A lack of gratitude is a serious problem we all seem to share. The primary reason for this lack is our sense of self -- "I deserve". We buy into a sense of entitlement and, then, since we are entitled to what we get, we are not grateful for it.
I just returned from an extremely pleasant, very comfortable trip across the South. We were in a motorhome with all the amenities. I didn't suffer in any sense. However, when you're sitting in a church parking lot for several days without any electrical connection or water source (et cetera -- I won't mention what that is), suddenly you become very careful with your supplies. You use electricity carefully. Showering is less frequent. You don't wash things as copiously. You're careful with everything you have. So this morning, in my own shower, it was pure joy to run the water for as long as I wanted. Mind you, that wasn't a long time. Still, simply to not have to think about a water source with which to bathe or the hot water I needed was a privilege. Before the trip, it was an "entitlement", essentially, in my mind. I mean, I had it with me always. What's the big deal? So today I was grateful for a shower.
I wish I could maintain that position. I wish I could keep in mind that what I deserve is punishment. The more I could keep that in mind, the more I would be grateful. I would be grateful for a job that pays the bills rather than resentful of the neighbor who makes more money. (If my neighbor is reading this, I was talking figuratively, not literally -- generally, not personally.) I would be grateful for running water and electricity rather than complaining about rising costs. I would be grateful for a church to go to rather than bemoaning the fact that the ones that are available aren't "perfect" ... whatever that means. I would be glad for the clothes I wear rather than hoping to show off something new, glad for the food I eat rather than wishing for steak instead of hamburger.
I wish I could maintain that position. I would be more concerned about helping a neighbor with less than maintaining my own comfort. I would be more intent on comforting a coworker with a difficult situation rather than worrying about my own ... which I deserve. (My mother shared this little nugget of wisdom with me on the trip: "When you find yourself in a hole, the first thing you should do is ... stop digging.") I would be more available to my wife and kids and less concerned about the things that concern me.
Yes, I suppose it's a bit dreary to remember that I deserve nothing better than eternal damnation. I suppose it's daunting to think that every day I deserve nothing better than prolonged agony for my sin. Still, if I did, I think I would be better for it. I would be happier with what God gives, more grateful for what I do have, and more of a person who loves God and loves his neighbor. Oh, wait, I suppose I could say it would make me more like a Christian, couldn't I?
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