I wonder. If a real, honest-to-goodness, biblically-sound father and husband came into our sphere of consciousness, would we recognize him as such? I don't really know, but I tend to think not.
We've been twisted and pushed so far away from biblical manhood in the 21st century that the real thing is probably so obscure that we would think it bizarre, perhaps even wrong. One side would call him too masculine and the other too feminine. One would say that he's too domineering and the other not forceful enough. He would definitely be too involved with his children; that's the mom's job. And so it goes.
It is my conviction that there is such gaping hole where "biblical manhood" should be that it is costing our families and our society in ways we don't even realize. We are failing to raise children as we should. Our failures as husbands are dismantling marriages not only on an individual basis, but also as the world understands it. God holds men responsible for the things going on in the world. Adam was responsible for Eve's transgression and, by extrapolation, for bringing sin into the world. God always seems to go to the men to get moving. Women are held individually responsible, but men are held responsible by God for a much larger group. We cannot afford to continue as we are. Crime, drug use, imprisonment, suicide ... there is a long list of things attributed largely to fathers and husbands who fail to be what God calls us to be.
Biblical manhood. What does that look like? What is God's ideal for a biblical father and husband? One is tempted to look at a variety of biblical figures. Maybe Noah, who was blameless in his time. No, Noah got drunk, passed out, and embarrassed his sons. How about Abraham? He's pretty good ... except for that whole fiasco with Ishmael ... and the way he treated Sarah... twice. "No, she's my sister, not my wife." Good stuff, Abe. David? No, the Bathsheba incident and the way his family fell apart disqualifies him. And the list goes on.
No, clearly the ideal father and husband are not found in biblical characters. So where do we go for these? Of course, interestingly, we find that the most common term for God in the Bible is "Father" and there are multiple references to Christ as "bridegroom". Maybe that's where we should look.
Obviously, the subject of biblical manhood is too vast for a blog post. I'm going to take a couple of posts to try to see what we men can learn from God as Father and Christ as Bridegroom to teach us to be fathers and husbands. In the meantime ... consider what you might find that could be something you could work on.
2 comments:
I think you dismiss the Biblical examples of the patriarchs a little quickly. While truly no human can be our 'ideal' example, in the sense of everything they do being perfect, but it is written to wives that they are to submit to their husbands and ordain themeselves with good works because:
"5... after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: 6Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement."
Similarly men are told to have faith:
"2For by it the elders obtained a good report....
4By faith Abel...
5By faith Enoch..."
etc etc.
All Scripture is profitable for doctrine, including the doctrine of how to be a husband and father.... including the examples of the husbands and fathers.
You would disagree with my assertion that humans in the Bible were not ideal???? How astounding! See, I figured they all suffered from Original Sin and were, therefore, flawed!
Relax, Von. I didn't dismiss them because they had nothing to offer. I dismissed them simply as a literary way to cut to the chase and get biblical examples from God. I "dismissed" them not because they have nothing to offer, but because I wanted to 1) limit the amount I would write while 2) providing the best possible sources. If you disagree that God is the best possible source, let me know. I don't disagree that we can glean valuable help from less than ideal biblical characters.
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