Family Thanksgiving

I don't normally do much personal stuff, but I'm just back from a week with family, so here's an exception. Besides, it was a Thanksgiving weekend, so if I'm thankful for family, it seems appropriate. I am, indeed, thankful for family. Truly, I have an unusually good one. Maybe you'd like to meet some of them.

Patti is my older sister. She's married to Jim. Jim has just experienced a forced retirement. He is a builder. The have traveled around the country, living in a 5th-wheel trailer, building things for various companies. Jim has experienced some physical difficulties that have forced him to give up the work he truly loves. Undaunted, Jim was the same cheerful guy the younger kids called "the monster" this week at the family gathering. It says a lot about the strength of his faith in God's guidance in these difficult times. Of course, Patti has had this same concept for some time. When she was graduating from high school, she was (finally) diagnosed with lupus, a diagnosis that prevented her from going to college in England as planned. Her response was remarkable. "I like these times when God makes His will absolutely clear." Patti has gone through many difficult times herself, not the least of which are the difficult times her husband has gone through. Today she has no symptoms of the lupus (that I am aware of), loves the Lord, and loves her husband. She struggles as we all do from time to time, but ultimately rests in the arms of her Savior, believing that no matter what comes, He will do what's right.

Kari is my younger sister. Her husband, Jeff, is a great guy that works for a Christian credit union. Together they have four children. They managed to produce equal amounts of boys and girls, a feat I can't figure out. Jeff is a real money guy. He knows how to count it, manage it, grow it. At one point in their marriage he decided to change jobs from finances to police work. He had saved enough money to move them from Kentucky to southern California and survive without income for an extended period while he did the necessary preparations. Ultimately he gave up that dream because he felt that it would be detrimental to his family, and that was more important. I really respect someone like that. Now he has this dream job where he works at what he does best with coworkers who are Christians at a company devoted to Christian values. I mean, how many people work in a job in the secular world where they have weekly Bible studies as part of the job? I've watched Jeff grow from a new Christian to a guy hard after the heart of God. Jeff's not perfect -- who is? -- but he's growing. I have a great deal of admiration for Jeff as a professional, a father, and a husband. Kari is high on my list as well. She is a stay-at-home mom, perhaps one of the most difficult jobs on the planet. Raising four children is not easy, especially when one, the oldest, is autistic. He is, to me, the most difficult kind of autistic. If you're anticipating "autistic", you're prepared for what they are, but this one seems absolutely normal. He simply lacks the capability of empathy it seems. "How would it make you feel if ..." is a lost question on him. He's a great kid -- intelligent, energetic, and all that good stuff. His problem is in interpersonal relationships ... like with his siblings. It's deceptive and, as such, difficult to deal with. But Kari has stood firm in the task. She has four great kids, all individuals. I don't think she knows how much I admire her and appreciate her.

My younger brother is Ken. He's married to Kathy. Together they have two kids, both in college now. I've mentioned my brother before. He's the smart one. He has always seemed to be the accomplished one. He was better at the flute than I was at the clarinet, better at sports than I was, and certainly the academic. I've learned from him that being "better" isn't always all it's cracked up to be. Too often it is a measurement on faulty standards. Nonetheless, my brother has never been the arrogant type. We have always enjoyed a good relationship from our childhood on and I am so proud of and grateful for my brother. I really love Kathy as well. She is an accountant, herself a bright person. She is an individual, thinking for herself and doing what she thinks best instead of simply following the crowd. She is remarkable at numbers and remarkable at crafts. You should see some of the scrapbook things she has put together. More importantly, Kathy is ... a family person. Despite being an "in-law" by definition, she has always been at the family gatherings when other "in-laws" weren't too keen on it. You can always expect a "thank you" card from Kathy for a gift given because Kathy thinks that's important. While some parents are eager to let go of their in-laws and their kids, she is eager to hang on to both. I greatly admire that in her. The fact that both of their kids are in higher degree courses in college also speaks well of their parenting. The oldest is aiming at becoming an architect, and the younger daughter is looking at becoming an engineer. Very impressive.

My parents are perhaps the most remarkable. My father cries when his kids tell him they appreciate him and admire him as a father because he's quite sure he made a mess of it all. Obviously, reading the above, you can tell he's mistaken on that point. Using him as a standard for "father", I've fallen far short of the mark. I don't feel too badly, however, because he set the mark so high. My mother ... how can I tell you about how wonderful she is? How about this? She still sends birthday cards to my ex-wife. She just feels led by God to do it. How many mothers do that? She loves her kids in a remarkable way. She loves their spouses as if they are her own. As for her love for her husband -- well, that bar is set far beyond most of our comprehension. Yet, despite all the early difficulties, the two of them have a remarkable, solid, loving marriage. She once told my younger sister (she's 10 years younger than I), "The first 25 years are the most difficult; after that it just gets great." They've been married for 54 years and still going strong. I cannot begin to express my appreciation for and admiration of my mother and my father.

I have a great family. I adore my wife. I have really good kids. My parents are wonderful. My siblings are really good people with really good spouses and really good kids (with the exception, of course, of my older sister -- no kids). I have been blessed. It's nice to have had a Thanksgiving weekend to remind me again of some of those blessings. To me it's not at all about turkey and food. It's a reminder that God has been good to me from the day He placed me in this world.