Comfort One Another

We do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve, as do the rest who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep in Jesus. For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive, and remain until the coming of the Lord, shall not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet of God; and the dead in Christ shall rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and thus we shall always be with the Lord. Therefore comfort one another with these words (1 Thess. 4:13-18).

Comfort one another with these words.

I recently lost a family member. Okay, "lost" isn't the right word. I know where he is. He died. But, you see, a death in the family is a painful event, so we prefer to replace the hard truth with a euphemism. We "lost" him. He "passed away". And people comfort one another with nice platitudes. "He's in a better place." "You'll see him again someday." Sometimes the platitudes are even true, but, truth be told, the day after your loved one has left this world, they're not very helpful.

I suppose this passage of Scripture is about as close as I get to disagreeing with Scripture. Oh, no, I don't call anything here "wrong". I'm not suggesting that Paul is in error. Paul here has offered information that he hopes will comfort people because their loved ones have passed away, "fallen asleep", died. The comfort is the coming resurrection. The truth, indeed, is that we are not like those "who have no hope". All well and good. I don't disagree that Paul is speaking the truth. But I know, from personal experience, that sometimes the truth, even if it is full of hope, provides little comfort at the "moment of impact".

We all get overwhelmed at times. A loved one dies. We undergo a painful situation. Our circumstances pile up and we are weary and torn. Paul underwent just such an event.

Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to buffet me —- to keep me from exalting myself! Concerning this I entreated the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong (2 Cor 12:7-10).

The briefness of the passage belies the point I'm making. Paul endured a "thorn in the flesh". Now, Paul expresses relief at the end here, confident in the power of God, but clearly there was a time period in this story where Paul was not so confident or relieved. He begged God for relief, and not only once -- three times. This was likely a matter of time. It took a response from God to comfort Paul: "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." It took time for Paul to find the relief and comfort that he sought.

I recently wrote about "burnout". I believe I spoke the truth. I neglected the truth that those who are in it aren't going to receive much immediate comfort from my urging them to lean on the Source. They're burned out. That doesn't negate the truth of what I wrote. It simply means that the comfort people in those situations require isn't found in a five-paragraph blog, and we who are speaking need to be sensitive to that fact.

Most of us try to be helpful when others around us are suffering. There are lots of reasons that we and those around us endure difficult times and we try to offer nice things to say. Hopefully we are generally offering truthful things. We try to offer hope, comfort, relief. If you are one of those who is currently offering hope, comfort, and relief, keep in mind that the result is not in your hands and it inevitably takes time. Kind words, regardless of how loving and truthful, don't immediately alleviate the pain. And if you are in that position, please be sensitive. Too often our kind and truthful words are ill-considered and end up offering little aid at all. Too often we ignore James's sage advice: "Let everyone be quick to hear [and] slow to speak" (James 1:19). And to those of you who are undergoing hardships, testing, and loss, our prayers are with you. Perhaps the truth offered as relief today is of little comfort, but time will help. Forgive us our inability to remove your pain despite our best intentions. In time, the truth will set you free.