Thirty years ago today I promised my bride that I would love her regardless of circumstances and she promised me the same. Thirty years ago today two disparate people merged into one, blending homes, bodies, directions purposes, lives. Thirty years ago today we said, "I do." And we have.
Folks, let me tell you about my wife. She is remarkable. She is "fit." I mean that in the sense that God meant it when He made that first pair bond saying, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him" (Gen 2:18). "Fit" as in "she fits me perfectly." She is my better half in a very real way. Sometimes we are so in sync that we say, "If two people think alike, one of them is not necessary. Which one of us is that?" Sometimes she does what I cannot while I do what she cannot and we accomplish things together that we could not apart. She is my complement. Do you know that term? She is that which is required to make us complete. Two halves, not identical, but perfectly fitted together to make a whole.
I cannot imagine two people being happier than we, but "happily ever after" has not been my goal. My goal has been to love her as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. Not a mere emotion, but a choice, a task, a project, a mission. Odd thing, that. The more I give up self to love my wife, the more warmly I feel toward her and the happier she is. Isn't that strange? Almost like God knew what He was doing ...
4 comments:
Happy Anniversary!!!
49 years ago this month I became a Christian, and knowing I'd be leaving the Army in another year I began praying that the Lord would bring a woman into my life who would marry me. 8 months later, August 1, 1974, I was on leave home and met the woman the Lord led me to. 2 years later to the day we married. God gave me a woman who would complete me and she's been a real pearl. I think God knows what He's doing when he brings two people together to serve Him as life-long partners.
Thanks, Glenn. I think He knows what He's doing, too.
A wonderful post. It describes my marriage, too.
When joining a UCC church we eventually fled in horror, we sat with the pastor and a few members as we introduced ourselves and provided for them some background. I spoke of how little we had in common, how different we were. I had always been more of a night person (mostly because of work), a bit more likely to walk the line between legal and not, much more desirous of social contact with others, while she was a homebody staying with her kids. But the one thing we truly had in common, I told them, was that she loves me very much...and so do I. (Ba-dump-bump! "You're a good crowd"). They got a good laugh out of that.
But the fact is that I always saw our vows as completely binding us, not so much with each other, as each of us with with God. And not lost on me was the notion that each must "promise" to love the other suggests a definition of love not considered by a good percentage of those who tie the knot. "Why do I have to promise? Would I marry her if I didn't already love her?" Famous last words, given the divorce rate.
Come spring, it'll be 33 years for us, not counting the seven years of dating prior to saying the words. I do love her now in a different, more comprehensive way than back in the day, and truly more than mere infatuation. While I'm even more cognizant than ever of the distinction between imagining one is in love versus promising to love, I'm at a point where there is decidedly no effort required to hold to the vow. It's easier than ever. For that I offer up praise and gratitude beyond measure. I feel lucky. I know I'm blessed.
Hi Stan,
I have been re-reading some of your earlier posts, and I had to comment on this one. It was so nice to read your tribute to your wife of 30 years. Next Saturday, my husband and I mark our 45th wedding anniversary (we’ve been a couple for 51.5 years)! (I do not feel that old!!) We were both relatively new Christians when we married at age 22, but God has brought us through the decades with such faithfulness and graciousness (even blessing us with two children after years of our struggling with infertility). God’s most gracious outpouring of His love has come the many, many times I, my husband, or both of us have strayed from fellowship with Him over the years. What a blessing to know the Lord who never forsakes us and to have Him as the foundation of our marriages!
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