If You Do Not Forgive

Jesus gave a dire warning in His Sermon on the Mount. "If you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses" (Matt 6:14-15). I don't know about you, but that feels like a really important thing. So ... what is biblical forgiveness? Most of us think of forgiveness as something like, "I'm not mad at you anymore." The dictionary says it means "to stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for an offense." Is that it? And we are all pretty sure it requires that the person ask for it before it needs to be extended. I mean, do we really need to forgive people who don't repent, who aren't sorry?

Let's look at the best possible example of forgiveness in the Bible -- Jesus. First, Scripture makes it abundantly clear that Jesus did not die for repentant people. On the cross He prayed, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34). Without waiting for someone to say, "Sorry." Further, we read, "God shows His love for us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" (Rom 5:8). "While we were yet sinners." Not waiting for an apology. He reconciled us to God while we were enemies (Rom 5:10). The notion that "They've got to ask before we forgive" isn't biblical. Nor is the notion that forgiveness means "feeling okay." How did Jesus forgive? He took on Himself the sins of others (Heb 9:28). And I would contend, dear reader, that that is the biblical definition of "forgive." It doesn't mean to feel okay toward someone who did wrong. It means to accept on oneself the cost of their wrong. It doesn't mitigate it. "Oh, that wasn't so bad." It looks wrong in the face and says, "That was wrong and I will bear the cost." It isn't justice; it is mercy. And it isn't really feasible unless you have a relationship with Christ in which He is enough.

Forgiveness is critical. Those who will not forgive others should not expect to receive forgiveness from God. We don't forgive because it is asked; we forgive because we are commanded to do so, because it is in our best interests to do so, and because Christ in us enables us to do so. Sometimes people hurt you without knowing it. Should you forgive? Yes. Sometimes people hurt you on purpose and forget about it. Should you forgive? Yes. Forgiveness isn't even reconciliation. That's a separate part. What we are commanded to do is, on the basis of our own forgiveness from Christ, let others off the hook for their much more minor offenses against us. Forgiveness is an act of faith empowered by the Spirit and carried out in the best interest of those who have wronged you. It doesn't require forgetting (another myth about forgiveness). It just requires you to set it aside for a greater purpose. Jesus did it. As followers of Christ, so should we.