Loving Yourself

Even those in the world know the command: "Love your neighbor as you love yourself." They may not do it or even like it, but we all know it. But for some there is an easy answer. "Oh, that's easy. I can't stand myself. I can do that toward others, too."

Famed theologian Whitney Houston sang, "Learning to love yourself, It is the greatest love of all." Why? Well, because we all know that low self-esteem is a pandemic in its own right. There is a dearth of self-love. Just look around you. There are hoards of humans who fail to harbor warm affection for themselves. It's a real problem.

Which brings me to my point. I have argued much that "love" in the modern culture is not "love" in the Bible. Love in the vernacular is "warm affection," but in the Bible it is a choice we make to seek the best for others. So when I came across this concept of "love yourself," it occurred to me that this perfectly illustrates what I'm trying to say. The world tells us that too many of us don't love ourselves (warm affection). It's true ... if you accept that love is defined as "warm affection." Paul says, "No one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it." (Eph 5:29). "Now, hang on, Paul. Are you not aware of the self-esteem crisis?" Paul, here, is presenting the biblical version of love. He is not talking about "warm affection" for self; he is talking about "seeking the best for" self. That's the love he says we all have for ourselves.

This concept does not negate the emotions we equate with love. It simply shifts the original concept of love -- a choice to seek the best for. If I am seeking the best for someone, it is inevitable that warm affection will follow. I am not trying to deny that emotions are part of love. I'm simply pointing out that warm affection that springs from efforts to seek the best for the one you intend to love has more depth, more constance, more durability, and more value. This love can survive emotional valleys and carry to the next emotional peak. Because this love has its footing in choice, not feeling. Learning to love yourself in this sense is simply the survival instinct. We all have it. Now, can we seek that best for others? That is a higher calling.