I've had the same doctor for probably 15 years. This year I tried out a new doctor. He did his exam, analyzed the tests and blood work and history, and immediately prescribed new drugs and gave me referrals to a hematologist, a dietician, a cardiologist, and a dermatologist.
I, of course, as you can understand, was offended. "Can't you be my doctor without being so judgmental? Can't you just be nice and smile and tell me you like me? Why do you have to be so negative? Why do you feel the need to impose your version of reality on me? I think you should be more 'embracing,' more affirming. What is wrong with you doctors, anyway? Can't you just be accepting of people rather than so narrow-minded and 'judgy'? Why all the hate?"
I, of course, as I'm sure you guessed, did no such thing. The fact that someone pointed out potential problems and offered genuine solutions in terms of health does not translate to hate, judgment, or unkindness. Just the opposite. If you had a doctor who saw things that concerned him and he failed to bring them up to you, you'd fire him. Reporting negative things is not, by definition, hate. If those negatives are true, failing to report them would be. "Sure, I knew you had conditions that could kill you, but, hey, I didn't want to upset you or hurt your feelings, so I didn't say anything." Thanks, but no thanks.
I'm sure you can see where this is going. We are told, by those "within" and without, that we should be more accepting, more loving, more embracing. We shouldn't be pointing to sin. We shouldn't be recognizing what's wrong. We should be ... how does the song put it ... "friends of sinners." Not enemies, pointing out what's wrong. We should tell ourselves, "Pay no attention to that fatal belief they have and just be loving." Like that makes some sense somehow.
It is true that we should be more loving. It is true that we can be too judgmental. It is true that we can often thrive on "righteous indignation," and it is true that that's wrong. The answer, however, is not to stay silent. That would be evil. That would be hateful. "Sure, I have it on the best authority that you have no place in the kingdom, but, don't worry. I won't warn you at all. I'll just pat you on the back and watch you walk into the fire." That is not what friends do. Our approach admittedly often falls short, but that means we need to correct our approach (and our attitude), not ignore the reality. That isn't loving and if we get to heaven and hear God tell one of those we "loved" that way, "Your sin has condemned you to hell," they won't turn to us, give us a wink, and say, "Thanks for being so loving and not telling me about this."
3 comments:
Presentation aside, if I respond negatively to one who tries to warn me of my sinfulness, am I not among the "proud in spirit" (as opposed to poor in spirit)? Just wondering.
In any case, consideration for how one presents a concern for another is a good idea, but secondary to expressing the concern at all.
Yes and yes. The problem occurs when we don't express concern for another but outrage at a behavior or attitude that makes us mad. That's not "concern for another."
The other interesting thing as that you CANNOT approach anyone and point out sin, but they certainly think THEY can ... while they tell you you can't. I can't figure that out.
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