April Humor

When I was young, I was seriously scarred by reading a book by Bennett Cerf titled, "Bennett Cerf's Treasure of Atrocious Puns." Those who know me today understand the deep impact it had on my psyche. (A couple of people who know me and read this are groaning already.)

The book was full of "great puns" which, on its own, is an oxymoron. (The "best" pun is a real groaner.) I've remembered and recounted some of them to this day. Like the story of the scientist in Florida who figured out how to keep dolphins alive forever. The secret was to feed them baby sea gulls. One day he went out to gather some gulls to feed his porpoises. When he returned he found his door blocked by a lion laying across his doorstep. Concerned at first, he quickly realized it was an old, toothless, sleeping circus lion, so he simply stepped over the animal and went inside ... at which point he was immediately arrested. The charge: Transporting little gulls across a staid lion for immortal porpoises.

He did puns in multiple languages. "Disbar" was a word that distinguished it from another bar. "Hypotenuse" was intended to tell visitors that the upstairs bathroom was occupied. "Muchas gracias" was Spanish for "The lawn needs mowing." "Escargot" was French for "We're going on a road trip." "Hangover" was the wrath of grapes.

And so much more. You get the idea. It scarred me for life. Now the pun comes natural to me and no one pays the price but everyone who happens to be within earshot. That doesn't make me an April fool. Just a bit off in my April humor.