One Step Beyond

In John's first epistle he talks about a mysterious old/new commandment. "Beloved, I am not writing a new commandment to you, but an old commandment which you have had from the beginning; the old commandment is the word which you have heard. On the other hand, I am writing a new commandment to you, which is true in Him and in you, because the darkness is passing away and the true Light is already shining." (1 John 2:7-8) What was this new command that was old? I think the text and context tell us pretty clear that it was the same new commandment that Jesus gave His disciples in John 13.

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another ..." (John 13:34a)

Now, hang on, Jesus. That's not new. It's about as old as they come. We know the top two commandments are to love God with all our being and to love others as love ourselves. Not new.

Jesus wasn't done. He had more to say.

"... even as I have loved you, that you also love one another." (John 13:34b)

Ah, you see? The "love one another" isn't new, but that twist at the end is certainly new. No longer is it "as you love yourself." Now it's "as I have loved you." How is that? The command was given at the end of Jesus's life, on the very night, in fact, when He was arrested and on the day before He laid down His life for His friends. "Like that," Jesus essentially was saying, "Love one another like that."

The comparison shows up somewhere else in Scripture.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her. (Eph 5:25)

Now, I suspect that most husbands know that they're expected to love their wives. It is my firm belief, in fact, that most husbands think they do that okay. Oh, maybe not perfectly, but not bad. From the nice husband to the abusive husband, I think most of us think we're reasonably good husbands. Our mistake, of course, is that we're comparing ourselves to the wrong standard. Am I loving my wife as well as my neighbor loves his? Probably. Am I loving my wife to the level of sacrifice that Christ loved the church?? Oh, no; not even close.

We're aware of layers of love, of varieties of love as it were. We can love pizza and we can love a pet, but you'd better not love them in the same way or you'll end up eating your pet. You can love your job and you can love your family, but it's not the same thing. So when a husband loves his wife, is it closer to pizza or closer to the sacrificial love that Christ had? The latter is the standard we're supposed to meet. And just imagine what that looks like. Where is there room for self? Where is there space for "me first"? Where can we wedge in "me time" when we're aiming for sacrifice?

I think we too often think more highly of ourselves than we ought. I doubt there's a single husband that doesn't do just that when thinking about how well he loves his wife. But if we're serious -- if we really do want to "walk in the same way in which he walked" (1 John 2:6) -- perhaps we ought to think again. "Love as Christ loved" is a long way from "Love as you love yourself" and "Love your wife" is fine until you add "as Christ loved the church." That is at least one step beyond what most of us expect.