Female Leadership

In the last presidential voting cycle we had a female candidate from the Democrats that, among other things, brought out the Christians who argued that women weren't supposed to be in leadership. I questioned that, but it's not a question today; there are no female candidates for president this time.

Still, it begs the question. What about female leadership? Well, my argument then was the same as now. Biblically Scripture speaks in terms of female-led marriages and female-led churches, not females in society. In fact, even in Scripture there were occasional females in charge of governmental functions. (It may not be condoned or "the best option," but neither is it banned.) So I'm not at all convinced about female leadership in human government.

What I am convinced of is the church question (1 Tim 2:12-14). And then there is marriage. Paul declared clearly "I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God." (1 Cor 11:3) No ambiguity. Wives are commanded to submit to husbands (Eph 5:22-24; 1 Peter 5:1-2). No ambiguity. And, equally, the desire of wives to rule their husbands is expected (Gen 3:16). So it is a command and a problem. Husbands are commanded to love their wives (Eph 5:25-27) and understand and honor them (1 Peter 3:7). All quite clear.

So, why is it not so? I know of very few Christian married couples who live that way. I know of very few wives who intentionally submit to their husbands as to the Lord. Oh, some submit, but most of those do so out of fear or a general, submissive demeanor and not out of obedience to Christ. Others submit out of abuse -- husbands that force it. Removing from consideration the wives who lead and the wives who submit out of fear or because they're just timid in character, I find very few who submit out of obedience. Why is that? When it's so clear, why is it so absent?

It would be a mistake to think I'm pointing fingers at Christian women (alone). I can equally state that the other side is equally true. Very few marriages are husband-led. In most cases the husbands just submit. Others are on the other end of the spectrum -- overbearing, dominating, cruel, abusive. That's not part of the calling for Christian husbands. As hard as it is to find a wife who submits to her husband as to the Christ, it is just as difficult to find a husband who loves his wife as Christ loved the church, a husband who lives with his wife in an understanding way, who honors her as a fellow heir. Husbands aren't doing any better than wives at following their instructions from God. And our failure in that regard only encourages our wives to fail, too.

Now, it is a given. We all sin. We all stumble in many ways (James 3:2). In fact, if we deny it, "we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us." (1 John 1:8) It's not the commission of the sin that I'm concerned about. It's the embrace of it. It's the wives that defy God to tell them to submit and the husbands who refuse to love sacrificially. It's those who claim, "No, it's not good to do what Scripture commands here." This is the real problem.

I don't want to be "that guy." I don't want to deny Christ or shortchange my wife by failing to love her as I'm commanded, by failing to understand her and honor her as I've been instructed. I don't want to be overbearing or dominating ("Love her as Christ loved the church" doesn't fit either characteristic.), but neither do I want to be submissive to her in a way that causes her to stumble. I don't think these commands are incorrect or ambiguous, but neither do I think they're easy. It should probably be higher on my list of priorities than it is now. You can examine the question for yourself -- husband or wife. Are you the spouse God commands?