And then ... I came across this. In that Malachi reference God is telling His people "you cover the altar of YHWH with tears, with weeping and with groaning, because He no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand" (Mal 2:13). This is a catastrophic condition, a spiritual meltdown. God no longer cares about your sacrifices or your tears. What is the cause of this condition?
"Yet you say, 'For what reason?' Because YHWH has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. (Mal 2:14)He's talking there about divorce. He says it in verse 16, but He also says it here when He refers to "your wife by covenant." It's not hard to see. As a matter of routine, we promise
To have and to hold from this day forward.That is not simply a contract; it's a covenant. There are no conditions of "to love and to cherish" except "until death do us part" (Rom 7:1-2). If we choose to divorce, we're breaking a covenant, an unconditional vow. We are dealing treacherously. And God told His people it was spiritual suicide. It cut them off from communication with God.
For better, for worse.
For richer, for poorer.
In sickness and in health.
Forsaking all others.
To love and to cherish.
Until death do us part.
Christians still debate the topic. "Under what conditions can we divorce?" The Bible lists ... none. If you experience a divorce (as opposed to initiating it), remarriage is possible in the cases of "sexual immorality" (Matt 19:9) or if an unbelieving spouse abandons a believing spouse (1 Cor 7:12-16), but the Bible lists no valid reasons for initiating divorce. And, isn't it interesting? Peter says that husbands are to "live with your wives in an understanding way ... so that your prayers will not be hindered" (1 Peter 3:7). That sounds a lot like the Malachi passage. Maybe our marriages are much more important to God than we think.
8 comments:
I absolutely agree with you regarding the importance of our marriages to God, who designed marriage for our utmost benefit (and His glory); naturally, then, He hates divorce and the abandonment of that mutual commitment. I am certain He abhors the pain caused to partners when one spouse forsakes vows made to the other before Him and witnesses. I am equally sure He delights to see the personal growth attained when one or both marriage partners eschews selfishness and sinful inclinations in order to love their spouses with all their being, no matter how difficult. We grow into better, more loving individuals within the marital covenant (especially as parents); we turn into lesser, more selfish persons when we bail out of difficult marriages. I know that “he/she doesn’t love me like I need him/her to” must be replaced with “how can I love him/her more and better.” The world does not think like this, unfortunately, and many unbelievers especially do not have that commitment to marriage and unselfish love that makes all the difference in the world. As many of us know all too well, it is heartbreaking to experience this reality firsthand. When God says “don’t!” it is for very good reasons, as one can expect.
It's worrisome to me that divorce is even an option to Christians. But it also makes sense. We often seek for that "line" where something good becomes bad. How close to the line can I get before I'm sinning? Instead, we should be fleeing from that line. Where is that line so that I can avoid it by miles?
David, I wrote a short story once called "Fences" about a tribe that lived on a tall plateau and put up fences to keep people from falling off. The fences gave them a false sense of security. No one ever thought of just ... staying away from the edge.
I had an accountability partner years ago who had exactly that attitude. He wanted to know how close to the line he could get and still be OK. I responded with exactly your point. If you stay away, you'll rarely need to be concerned.
There was a band back in the 90s that had a song about this, it was a pretty good illustration. It was called Shags Has Hung Himself. It's a dog in a back yard with a short wall and a long chain and a predictable outcome. I think they had another similar song as well.
It's amazing how music just pops back into your head in relation to certain things.
Craig, it’s funny you mentioned the dog with a short wall and a long chain. I was going to ask Stan if, in his story, the people living on the plateau insisted on mounting those protective fences--perhaps curious about or lured by what was beyond--and in the process fell to their deaths. It is certainly human nature (as well as that of dogs :)!
"Without fail from dawn to dusk at our house everyday
At least a hundred neighbor kids would come around to play
And of all the kids that come to play Chris sticks out in my mind
The sort of friend who always stuck by you
You know, the loud obnoxious kind
And sometimes out of the blue, the doorbell on our house would ring
But when we'd open up the door we'd never find a thing
And though we never saw him, we knew Chris had rung the bell
'Cause we barely glimpse that fat shadow that we all knew too well
Then one morning in place of Chris, his mother came instead
She looked at me with saddened eyes and this is what she said
Christopher won't come to play today
Shags, poor Shags has hung himself
Short wall…long chain…that dog won't see the sun again
No Shags, poor Shags has hung himself
The dog I'd often heard about, but never once had seen
It seems reached the end of his rope if you know what I mean
The chain that kept him in the yard was just a little long
So when he ran to jump the fence it seemed nothing was wrong
He cleared the wall with style and grace, but never touched the ground
The chain just wasn't long enough, so he hung around
So Christopher stayed home that day, but soon forgot the pain
His family bought another dog, but used a shorter chain
In life there's a short wall around us, guidelines we live by
And if we keep testing that chain, well eventually we'll die."
Same band, with another song on a similar subject.
"Suzy has decided that its time to lose some weight
So she's resolved to choose with caution just what foods go on her plate
She bought chocolate milkshake powder that she drinks three times a day
And once a week a piece of frozen diet cheesecake is ok
But despite all of her efforts Suzy's weight won't go away
'Cause she works thirty hours a week at Sam's all-you-can-eat-buffet
Well I live my life just like Suzy's diet
I surround myself with things I've vowed to give up and I like it
Yes I live my life just like Suzy's diet
Tell myself that I should quit but with it all around
I just can't help but try it
Suzy is discouraged 'cause she can't take off the pounds
And then she feels the pains of hunger as her stomach starts to growl
So she goes into the break room to mix up her diet shake
And then she quickly swallows two servings of Sam's chicken-fried steak
Throughout her shift she feels the need to sample taste and try each dish
And as she stands on the scale that night quicker results are her hearts wish
Well I live my life just like Suzy's diet
I surround myself with things I've vowed to give up and I like it
And I'm bound to fail just like Suzy's diet
Good intentions can't survive in bad surroundings where…
You just can't help but try it
Suzy's biggest problem was that she just couldn't see
She put herself in situations where she'd be tempted easily
If we choose to live our lives the way the Bible says we should
We must clean out all that tempts us and surround ourselves with good
'Cause bad company corrupts good morals it's a proven fact
Honesty within herself was all that Suzy truly lacked
Do you live your life just like Suzy's diet?
Are you surrounded still by things that pull you down and do you like it?
Do you live your life just like Suzy's diet?
If you're still playing with your sin
YOU JUST MIGHT FOOL YOURSELF, but God's not gonna buy it."
Lorna, some years back a young Christian coworker asked my advice when he was considering asking a girl to marry him. One thing I told him was, "I'm sure you've asked yourself what she can bring to your life. Have you asked what you can bring to hers?" He was surprised. Not our normal thinking pattern. And necessary for marriage ... and life
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