According to the latest statistics, the current divorce rate in the U.S. is 6.2 per 1,000 people. In 2022, there were 673,989 divorces or annulments and 2,065,905 marriages. The average length of marriage prior to divorce is 8 years. (That is, of those who divorce, it lasts an average of 8 years.) We've been told that 50% of all marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. This isn't even close to accurate. Statistics show that, in a given year, the ratio of marriages to divorces in a given year are about 2:1, but that is a yearly snapshot that doesn't give a true picture. Using that method, in 2022 the divorce rate was roughly 33%. Beyond that, further studies suggest a vastly different number than the 50% standard. In a Census Bureau study in 2009, 20.5% of men and 22.4% of women reported ever being divorced. Currently more like 75% of those who marry stay married.
So, what about Christians? The reports have suggested that the divorce rate among Christians is nearly identical to non-Christians. Now, clearly, this shouldn't be. God hates divorce (Mal 2:16) and Jesus (you know, the "Christ" in "Christian" that Christians are supposed to follow) said, "What God has put together let no man separate" (Matt 19:6). Which begs the question ... is it that Christians are refusing to obey God, or is it that these may not be Christians we're talking about? The answer, of course, is "Yes." Christians sin. Period. But it shouldn't be "at the same rate" as the world, should it? And it turned out, when they took another look, the "Christians" who reported the same divorce rate as the world were not Bible-reading, church-going, Christ-following Christians. CINO's, then. Christians-In-Name-Only.
Still, divorce does occur among genuine Christians. All manner of sin occurs among genuine Christians. So I'm wondering. When we promise "Till death do us part," how are we defining "death"? "I don't feel good"? "I'm not exactly happy"? "I can do better"? Some Christians seem to have an extremely loose definition of "death" when they choose for any reason to divorce ... because Scripture doesn't seem to list any reason as a good one. Maybe one or two that are tolerable (e.g., Matt 19:8), but not one good reason. Which begs another question. Who are we trusting to give us the best for our lives? Ourselves? The people around us? Or God? If not God, what does that say about our faith ... in God?
8 comments:
As with so many statistics about Christians the numbers change dramatically when you filter out the CINOs.
To my readers, it appears that there is a change in the Comments section. I don't know the reason. I've compared mine with other bloggers and they don't have the same appearance. I've traced through my entries and codes and can't find anything to cause it. Reading the comments appears to be unchanged, but making comments appears different than before. I have no explanation. It isn't a change in Blogger software because others don't have it, but something is changed. Software is always a bit mysterious. I feel your pain.
I think the increasing separation of individuals in the church and a decreasing emphasis on extra-Sunday study are a huge cause of the increasing similarities between the church and the world. I've been going to my church for more than a year, and have not once been invited to a non-church function. (Sure, I could do the inviting, but my house is sadly not guest ready.) How many of us meet outside of church organized functions? We have our small groups that meet once a week, or prayer meetings and the like, but what about living lives together? On top of that, how often do we do more biblical study than our morning devotions (if we even take that time) and Sunday service? I like my pastor. Good expositional teaching, but we never dive deep into hard theological ideas. We're a "TULIP" church, but I'm not sure how many could even explain what each letter means, let alone what each concept truly means. The ideas are sprinkled through Scripture, but they're never explicitly talked about. We need more than Sunday and "quiet time".
Yes, I noticed a change in appearance and function first thing today. I wasn’t sure if you did something or my Internet browser did it. I will soon find out if submitting comments works for me as usual (not having a Blogger account). (I am trying the "Reply" function here for the first time.)
You are right, Craig--those CINOs throw lots of things off, and they are everywhere! :)
Today’s post really took me back--I’m 3 weeks away from marking 46 years of marriage. Surprisingly (in spite of possessing an excellent memory), I don’t remember my wedding vows! I don’t have them written down, and our ceremony wasn’t captured on video (it was 1978, afterall). We did not write our own, and I recall only telling our pastor that I didn’t want the traditional “love, honor, and obey” in there (he said that was fine since the biblical term is “submit” rather than “obey”--but I don’t think “submit” was in my vows either). I can’t say for sure if “‘til death” was in our vows, but it certainly was in our hearts and minds.
I have heard people (not Christians) say they interpret the common phrase “as long as we both shall live” to be “as long as we both shall love” or “‘til death do we part” to be “‘til death of our love do we part.” This subjects the marriage commitment to one’s feelings, moods, whims, impulses, and other unreliable and fluctuating factors; it’s no wonder if/when those marriages end. (Your suggestions--“I don't feel good,” “I'm not exactly happy,” “I can do better”--actually gave me a good laugh, as I think back over 4.5 decades of married life. :)
Stan,
Mine just changed as well. I'm not a fan of the new look.
Lorna, yes, most vows have changed these days. Self-written ones are popular where they tell each other warm fuzzy things without any real commitments. They stripped off "love, honor, and obey" a long time ago and a lot have shifted to "as long as we both shall love." Things like this are why I don't blame "gay marriage" for the demise of marriage. We've been working on that for a LONG time.
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