It is also clear from Scripture that this is a big problem. Over and over we are warned of the dangers of "sexual immorality" (e.g., Matt 5:32; Matt 15:19; Acts 15:20; Rom 13:13; 1 Cor 5:11; 1 Cor 6:13, 18; 1 Cor 7:1-2; 2 Cor 12:21; Gal 5:19; Col 3:5; 1 Thess 4:3; Jude 1:7; Rev 2:14; Rev 2:20-21; etc.). Paul begins a thought with this: "For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality ..." (1 Thess 4:3ff). That is, God's will is our sanctification and one of the very first starting points of that sanctification is abstaining from sexual immorality. That is, it's really a big problem. We get that.
Why is it, then, that we so often ignore it? Well, I guess I've answered that question already. It's a big problem. But this problem is both big and, conversely, hidden ... because we've become so inured to it that we don't recognize it. Some of us, for instance, can't see how a "gay Christian" who is "married" shouldn't be having sex. That's because we've completely bought the undefined "marriage" offered by and to "gay Christians." It's not biblical. Biblical marriage is the union of a man and a woman (Gen 2:24; Matt 19:5; Eph 5:31). (Note: I included those three references because they demonstrate 1) a constant definition from beginning to end and 2) because it comes even from the lips of Jesus.) Therefore, any sex between two people of the same gender is biblically outside of marriage. Or we've become so used to it ourselves that we don't see it. Take what is likely the most common sexual immorality we practice as humans in the 21st century -- masturbation. For so very many Christians today they might respond immediately when they read this, "What? You're suggesting that's unbiblical??" Well, yes, certainly. Because we know that sex outside of marriage is sexual immorality and masturbation is sex alone and, therefore, sex outside of marriage. (Read "sin.")
Within the bonds of marriage God has created sex for procreation (obviously) and for the mutual physical and spiritual oneness of the two who become one. This can be abused (e.g., 1 Cor 6:15-16). It can be misused in marriage (e.g., 1 Cor 7:3-5). But it is God's gift to us -- a beautiful thing. Let's not continue to mess it up by discarding what we already know to be God's sexual ethic -- the union of a man and a woman in marriage to include shared intimacy including physical intimacy. All that other stuff -- sex outside of marriage, homosexual sex, porn, masturbation, etc. -- is classified as "sexual immorality." As Paul says, "Flee sexual immorality." (1 Cor 6:18)
But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. (Eph 5:3)
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