"I Feel" Trumps Reality

They told me that "gay" and "black" are the same. That is, sexual orientation and race are similar things that you don't choose and that you're born with and that you can't change. That's why it kept coming up in the whole "gay mirage" argument. "You wouldn't oppose interracial marriage. Why oppose same-gender marriage?" They told me that what you are (gay, straight, white, asian, etc.) is not a choice and is who you are. They told me that who you are (gender, sexual orientation, etc.) is not determined by your physical nature, but how you feel. Thus, a guy who wins medals in male Olympic sports can tell us he feels like a woman and it trumps DNA, biology, science, chromosomes, bone structure ... all of that. In fact, a guy who does that gets awards for bravery. So why is it, given all of this, that a white woman who claims to be black is not allowed to be black? Why is it that she loses her job and friends? She says, "If people feel misled or deceived, then sorry that they feel that way, but I believe that's more due to their definition and construct of race in their own minds than it is to my integrity or honesty, because I wouldn't say I'm African-American, but I would say I'm black, and there's a difference in those terms." Why aren't the tolerant and inclusive folk rallying around this poor black woman stuck in a white body? Why isn't she queued up for the next "hero" award from the NAACP? Come on! Don't tell me there's some other reality here that's preventing this! Or does someone else get to choose when feelings trump reality?