Radical Men

I recently wrote about "radical Christianity" as the Christianity that is practiced obediently. Seems odd, of course, since "radical" is usually thought of as "out there" while "obedient Christian" should be thought of as "normal", but here we are. "Normal" today often means disobedient, self-serving Christianity. Thus, I called for "radical Christianity" -- Christians who are actually obedient to God (as described in His Word). And I'm there again. This time I'm calling for radical men, men who are the men God calls us to be.

What would I classify as the first characteristic of the biblical perspective on what men should be? In a word, "responsible." The basic principle is this: "I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God." (1 Cor 11:3)

Husbands are responsible.

In 1 Peter we read the command to wives to submit to their husbands "even if some do not obey the word" (1 Peter 3:1). It's easy for guys to point to that, but the same would hold true for husbands who are required to love and be responsible for their wives "even if some do not obey the word." Hosea illustrates this when God commanded him to "Go, take to yourself a wife of whoredom and have children of whoredom" (Hos 1:2). I mean, surely this arrangement was suitable for divorce. But God didn't see it that way and Hosea didn't see it that way. (And, indeed, isn't this God's approach? See Rom 9:25.)

So what are the biblical responsibilities of the husband? Well, we're clear that he is the head of the wife (1 Cor 11:3). These days, with the overwhelming assault of radicalized feminism on our society, that's not comfortable or even acceptable, but it is commanded. Husbands, if you are not acting as the primary authority in your marriage as you are commanded to be, there is a word for it -- "sin."

Of course, that is not the final point. Husbands are explicitly commanded to "love your wives" and not merely as the world does, but "as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her" (Eph 5:25). "As their own bodies" (Eph 5:28). "As himself" (Eph 5:31). I mean, serious love, not just "warm affection". (It is of critical importance at this point that you go examine 1 Cor 13:4-8 for a description of just what that love looks like.)

More. Husbands are expected to "cleanse her by the washing of water with the word" (Eph 5:26). Are you? We are expected to "live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life" (1 Peter 3:7). Is that your approach? Paul told Timothy that a husband that fails to provide for his family "is worse than an unbeliever" (1 Tim 5:8). Do you provide for your family?

We're kind of stuck these days. We want to go along to get along and many (most?) women have bought the line that says, "We are empowered and independent and we won't submit to any man!" So we may feel forced outside of the realm of possibility of being the responsible husband we are commanded to be. Or we might go the other way, stepping up to be a tyrant, lording it over them, as if that qualifies as "love", "understanding", or "showing honor". Many would like to just give up and coast. Some are even afraid of losing their wives if they do what God says. Which is why I started with the example of Hosea. Husbands are responsible, and it doesn't matter if your wife is on board with that. Examine your God-given responsibilities to your wife and step up to them. Similar to Peter against the Sanhedrin, you must ask yourself "Is it right in the sight of God to listen to your wife and society rather than to God?" (Act 4:19) Your call.

Fathers are responsible.

Beyond being the responsible leader (and lover) of the wife, husbands with children (which we term "fathers") have additional responsibilities. I wrote of these the other day. We are to teach our children, discipline them, instruct them, disciple them. Guys, this is not a part time job. So when we set up this notion that "I'm spending all this time away from home so my kids will have a better life," it's a false dichotomy. A "better life" would be the one prescribed by God ... the one where you are meeting your responsibilities to your kids to "teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." (Deut 6:7) Not someone else's responsibility; yours.

Like the captain of a ship, if something goes wrong on board, it is, at the end of the day, the responsibility of the father and husband. We for too long have abdicated our responsibilities. We want to go along to get along or we want to dominate, both wrong choices. We will more likely respond favorably to supportive wives than contentious ones in direct opposition to the example we have in Christ and His Church. Like most other things, we want to make it all about us when it isn't. And we're seeing the dire consequences. Divorce rates, broken families, wild kids, angry or sad wives, the consequences are everywhere. We ought to be the prime examples of what a godly family looks like and the world has the audacity to tell us there is no apparent difference. Husbands and fathers, make a difference. Be different. Be a radical man by being an obedient one, the man God has commanded us to be.

Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love. (1 Cor 16:13-14)