Gay Marriage in the Bible

Any casual reader of my stuff will know that the title is misleading if only because I don't believe that such a thing as "gay marriage" actually exists. As I have repeatedly and consistently held, marriage has a definition and "two people of the same sex" cannot be included in the definition any more than "four men and three women" or "a man and his goat" or any other of a large variety of other versions. So the title is somewhat misleading because 1) I don't believe in such a thing as "gay marriage" and 2) you won't find it in the Bible, either in defense or offense. It's not mentioned. Because it doesn't exist.

In the public domain, my argument against the subject is not a biblical one. I don't argue that it's immoral. I argue that marriage means something--has always had a core definition--and this is not it. It is not the same question as the morality of homosexual relations or the like. It is the meaning of the term.

Having said that, however, Christians ought to consider the question in light of what the Bible does say on the subject of marriage.

The first mention of marriage is, of course, Adam and Eve, where "a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Gen 2:24) becomes the standard biblical concept. I call it "standard" because both Jesus (Matt 19:5) and Paul (Eph 5:31) refer to it as the explanation of marriage. "This is what marriage is." So at the beginning we have "man" and "woman" in union ("one flesh") for the purpose of mutual support (Gen 2:18) and procreation (Gen 1:28)^[1].

After that, "marriage" becomes somewhat repetitive. That is, it simply references "husband" and "wife" (and, of course, children) ... over and over and over. Sometimes there were singular husbands with multiple wives--polygamy. But always "husband" and always "wife". Never "husbands" as in two of the same gender either married to one or more women or to each other.

It's only much later that instructions for marriage are offered. In Ephesians, for instance, Paul commands "Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord" and "Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church" (Eph 5:22-33). He repeats something similar for the Colossians (Col 3:18-19). Marriage of women (to men) is assumed in most of Scripture as evidenced by the general command "train the young women to love their husbands and children" (Titus 2:4-5) or the instruction that women with questions at church should ask their husbands (1 Cor 14:35). When we come to Peter's comments on the topic, they are mostly the same ... but not quite. He tells wives, "Be subject to your own husbands" (1 Peter 3:1-6) but specifies beyond that they they should do so "even if some do not obey the word." He does not command husbands to love their wives, but, rather, to live with them in an understanding way and to honor them (1 Peter 3:7). This clearly supersedes any cultural "women are chattel" concepts as is so often falsely accused by Bible skeptics.

So, what have we learned? We've learned that there is no explicit statement in Scripture that says, "Two men cannot marry." Of course, if "a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" is the biblical concept of marriage, then "Two men cannot marry" is nonsense ... since marriage is defined for us as "man" and "woman" in union. While the text does not say, "This is God's definition of marriage", it is quite clear that the Bible sees it as such given 1) the consistent use of this description in the New Testament and 2) lack of anything else. Beyond this, we have clear instructions for married couples. We know, for instance, that despite our society's aim to subvert this concept, the Bible teaches that "the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God." (1 Cor 11:3) In fact, every marriage command is couched in "husband" and "wife" terms. Each role--husband and wife--has distinct commands (as in "the head of the wife is her husband" and "wives, submit to your husbands" as opposed to "the head of every man is Christ" and "husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way").

So, here we are. What does the Bible say about "gay marriage"? Nothing. Nothing at all. No reference, no hint, no subtle concept. Nothing. So, there are a few possibilities here. Maybe God didn't know that in the 21st century we'd be marrying men to men so He didn't have any input on that. Or maybe He knew and didn't have any commands that "husbands, submit to your husband" or "wives, submit to your wives" or otherwise. Heterosexual couples have commands; homosexual couples don't. Or maybe ... just maybe ... God defined marriage for us at the beginning and anything and everything that deviates from that is not marriage. Because trying to force "gay marriage" into anything remotely biblical on the subject is impossible, an argument from silence, completely in opposition to and incompatible with everything biblical about marriage.

So when "gay marriage" can be "husband" and "wife", "man" and "woman", a union for the purpose of mutual support and procreation like it's described in the Bible, then I'll be on board. Of course, that's just for Bible-believing Christians. The rest of you are on your own.
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^[1] For those of you, Christians and skeptics, who wish to disagree with "for mutual support and procreation", let me say this. These are the aims, not the "definition". You know that. I know that. In biblical terms, a woman who was barren in Scripture was still married. She didn't like being barren, but it didn't dissolve the union. By the same token, if a wife ends up taking care of her husband after a traumatic brain injury, for instance, we wouldn't suggest he is no longer married because he is not offering mutual support. It's the aim, but not the definition. Thus, defining marriage as "the union of a man and a woman for the purpose of mutual support and procreation" works fine as long as we understand that "the purpose" in that statement doesn't require success, just intent. A husband who marries with no intention of offspring or a wife who marries with no expectation that she'll be supportive of her husband (examples, mind you) are not entering into a marriage that is the same aim as the biblical marriage.