Fathers

Empire wrote a piece for a Father's Day issue about 10 Movie Father Figures Better Than Real Dads. All were not fathers. There was Obi-Wan to Luke Skywalker, Alfred the butler to Bruce Wayne, Uncle Ben to Peter Parker, and more. Because, as we all know, real fathers just aren't that good. Last year the Atlantic ran an article titled Why Do So Many Father-Daughter Movies = Feisty Kid + Bumbling Dad? Hugo Schwyzer points out that Disney's movies have a string of failed fathers from the over-protective Neptune in The Little Mermaid to the mindless dad in Cinderella all the way to "crazy old Maurice" in Beauty and the Beast where the daughter became the thinking, wise, authority figure in the family. Since then we've mostly had heroic kids and inept but lovable fathers.

But it's not just Disney. Has no one ever noticed that the Toy Story series includes no fathers? Finding Nemo certainly does, but he's quite a bungler who, thanks to his brave son, eventually gets better. Most cartoon fathers are failures. So are most other father figures in the movies. Some might point to Atticus Finch of To Kill a Mockingbird as a good Hollywood father. Maybe. But he's distant and permissive and I would personally recommend against imitating Atticus. Others have suggested Captain Von Trapp from The Sound of Music as a good father figure, but, as it turns out, the real Von Trapps complained that their father was not the cold and disconnected father of the movie, but actually a warm and loving father. That's interesting. So a warm and loving father doesn't sell?

The Atlantic had an interesting article about The Distinct, Positive Impact of a Good Dad. It is interesting because it is from the secular magazine, because it is in contradiction to the rising argument against the value of fathers at all (even in their own magazine), and because it takes a positive view of fathers. W. Bradford Wilcox argues that fathers physically play more with their kids and in a more physical way which teaches them that biting, kicking and other physical violence is not acceptable, encourage risk which teaches them to embrace challenges and become independent, protect their children with greater size, strength, and aggressive appearance that keeps predators away, and have a distinctive disciplinary style that tends to be firmer and more confrontational which gives their children a sense of his authority. Studies, have shown that good fathers make large differences in delinquency rates, teenage pregnancy, and depression.

Fathers are important. All this is well and good. That is, it is backed up by studies and science and all. But the truth is that God has ordained fathers as the key point in a family. He calls Himself "Father". Not mother, parental unit, or any such thing. Not doting aunt, kind grandmother, or friendly grandpa. Father. Fathers are important ... and we seem to be missing it. Fathers are called by God to bring children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Eph 6:4). "Now wait a minute," I can hear some saying, "that's the church's job" or "that's my wife's job" or whatever other entity you may claim. But God laid it at the feet of fathers. Fathers are not to provoke their children to anger (Col 3:21; Eph 6:4). They are to show compassion to their children (Psa 103:13). "Oh, now, just a minute," I can hear again, "that's definitely the mom's job." Well, sure ... but the Bible claims it is also the father's job. Like Joshua (Josh 24:15), fathers are to set the spiritual course of their home. One of the arguably least accepted commands is that a father who loves his son is required to discipline his son (Heb 12:5-10). Notice that this particular text is not speaking about discipling, but chastising as a method of training. Fathers are to follow God's explicit command to teach God's Word "diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise" (Deut 6:6-7). Odd. He didn't say, "Let the schools do it" or "the churches" or "your wife" or "Sunday school" or anyone else. Nor did He say, "On occasion, why not have an outing and talk about these things." Fathers are responsible to teach their kids all that God commands and to do it ... let's see ... sitting, walking, lying down, and getting up. I think that just about covers all the time.

The failure of fatherhood is an aim of Satan, no doubt. But the failure of fatherhood in our society is a direct result of the failure of fathers to be what we ought. Without an example at which to point and say, "That's what it's supposed to look like," we're left with bad examples and warnings and, finally, irrelevance. These things ought not be. We cannot fix all fathers. We wouldn't expect that to happen anyway. But you and I -- Christian men, fathers -- can work on our little corner of the universe. We can teach our kids. We can discipline our kids. We can walk with our kids and disciple them. Paul warned, "But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever (1 Tim 5:8). That provision is not merely an income. It is for physical needs and spiritual needs and social needs and emotional needs. It is the job of fathers. We need to step up. We need to model the Father to our families. We need to take the responsibility that God has called us to. No more excuses.