Didn't Work

I remember years ago when I started work at a new job, a new coworker came up to me and said, "I sure hope you're not one of those Christian types."

"Sorry," I said, "I am."

"Oh, too bad."

"Why?"

"Well, I don't like Christianity."

"Oh? Why?"

"Well, I tried that and it didn't work."

I was left wondering "Didn't work?" What did that mean, "didn't work"? What was it supposed to do that it didn't do?

It begs the question. Is Christianity a means to an end?

It's a common approach. A friend asked me (years ago when my children were still children), "How do you get your kids to behave? Yours are so good and I can't get mine to listen to me." So I told him my approach which included corporal punishment when needed. "Oh," he said, "I tried that. It didn't work." There was that phrase again. "Didn't work." You see, to me corporal punishment was part of a parenting program commanded by God, so I did it. The question could be, "Why did you spank your kids?" and the answer could be, "So they would be good", but for me it wasn't. For me it was, "Because the Bible says, 'Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him' (Prov 13:24) and I love my sons." So, did corporal punishment accomplish what it was supposed to? If I did it because I love my sons it did.

I've seen the same plan of attack in marriages. There was a bumper sticker I once saw that read, "Treat her like a thoroughbred and she won't be a nag." It answered the question, "How should I treat my wife?" with "Treat her well so she'll treat you well." And men have told me, "I tried that. It didn't work." There it is again -- "didn't work." The Bible commands, "Husbands, love your wives" and we think, "That's so she'll love me back" and it isn't in there. The Bible commands, "Wives, submit to your husbands" and wives think, "That's so he'll treat me right" and it just isn't in there. If, on the other hand, I love my wife because God told me to, then regardless of her response, I will have obtained what I intended, love for my wife as a matter of obedience to a God I love.

Because, you see, what we're looking for far too often is a means to an end, and that "end" is our benefit. We think of parenting relationships as a means to make well-behaved kids who love us (that part is really key, isn't it?). We're commanded instead to "bring up a child in the way he should go". We think that treating our spouses in the way we are to treat them is a means of great gain. Instead, we are commanded to treat our spouses in the way we are commanded because we are commanded to do so, not as a means of gain. And far too often we think that Christ is a way to solve life's problems, ensure peace, obtain domestic tranquility, and so on. When it doesn't make us feel better, it "didn't work". And that was never the point.

Paul warns of the false teacher who is "deprived of the truth, imagining that godliness is a means of gain" (1 Tim 6:5-6). He goes on to say, "But godliness with contentment is great gain" (1 Tim 6:6). If you are approaching Christianity as a means to an end that will benefit you, you'll like end up like the rest. "I tried that; it didn't work." On the other hand, if you are content, then godliness -- as a Christian, as a parent, as a spouse -- is great gain. Christianity is not a means to an end, but is the end itself. A right relationship with God from a changed heart is a sufficient end on its own -- great gain.