The Tide has Turned

There is a commercial out there -- I don't know for what -- where the mother sternly tells her young son, "You're on time out." She leaves the room and he proceeds to demolish the kitchen. Because, you see, he's on time out. He can't go anywhere else. So he's wearing pots on his head as he rams his toys into the walls and knocks down stuff from the counter and ... well, it's quite a destructive "time out".

There was a time when daddy really did know best. Or, at least, when everyone assumed it. Fathers ruled their households. Children did what Dad ordered. If not Dad, then it was Dad-by-proxy in the form of Mom. Daughters didn't consider dating Timmy until Dad said it was okay. Sons knew that they would be in trouble if they stole candy from the candy store and acted accordingly. Children were to be seen and not heard, they tell me.

The tide has turned. Today, parents live in fear of their children. "What do I do if the child refuses?" Refuses what? It doesn't matter. Responding to deliberate and open rebellion from a child appears to be outside of the skill set of most parents. More and more parents are on a first name basis with their kids. "We want to be their friends, not their authority figures." And we are absolutely certain that a physical response is "child abuse".

What amazes me is that Christians are in agreement. They don't know how to control their children. They don't have tools with which to teach them respect for authority or even simple obedience. "I gave him a time out, but he still does it." The mere suggestion that it is reasonable and loving to offer corporal punishment is viewed as backward and mean ... if not criminal. Among Christians. And yet we read without ambiguity, "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it" (Prov 22:6). Now, quick English lesson. In the sentence, "Bob went to the store", there is a subject and a predicate. The subject is "Bob" and the predicate is "went to the store". Now, what is the subject in the verse? It is an implied "you". Most accurately, "You are to train up a child." Now, that's odd, isn't it? Because we're pretty sure that someone else is supposed to. The babysitter, the school, the Sunday School teacher, maybe even the grandparents, but not you. And yet, the Bible seems to hold you (the parent) responsible for training your children.

Interesting. What else does God's Word (I emphasize that because it's supposed to be the Christian's guide) say on the topic? Well, there is this gem: "Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol (Prov 23:13-14). There, see? It would appear that God disagrees with the current wisdom that you should never strike a child. Now you, dear Christian, need to decide who is right -- modern wisdom or God.

Indeed, parents are tasked to teach their children God's Word. "You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise" (Deut 6:7). So, quite clearly, this isn't a full time requirement. Whenever you're not sitting in your home or walking somewhere or lying down or getting up you're free to do something else. Oh ... wait ...

And despite all the modern wisdom to the contrary, God doesn't task women (especially mothers) with teaching children. He commands fathers to do it. "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord" (Eph 6:4). Of course, if fathers were the responsible husbands and fathers they are commanded to be, then mothers would be assisting under the fathers' guidance in teaching, but God gives fathers the primary responsibility.

Look, I could keep this up for a long time. The command from God to parents to teach their children is not a question. The instruction to use corporal punishment to do so is not a question. The necessity for children to be taught to obey is not a question. And yet, even among Christians, we're trying to figure out just what to do with our children because at this point they rule the house. My recommendation? Obey God! Because the Bible says that the alternative is to hate your children (e.g., Prov 13:24). And, look, if you don't teach them to obey you (and, by extension, God), someone else will. And that someone else won't likely be as loving.

There, that wasn't so difficult, was it?