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Thursday, July 25, 2013

Faithful Friends

I wonder how many of you know that this phrase is in the Bible:
Profuse are the kisses of an enemy (Prov 27:6).
Doesn't that jar you? "Wait! 'Kisses' we know, but kisses of an enemy? What's that all about?" (I know. The King James says they're "deceitful", but the Hebrew word used there means "abundant", not "deceitful", so I've opted for this translation instead.) Well, fortunately, the text is half of a verse. The first half makes the second half clearer.
Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy (Prov 27:6).
Oh, now, see? Much clearer. Here we have two seeming contradictions: the "wounds of a friend" which would not make much sense on its own, and "the kisses of an enemy". As we all know, friends don't wound and enemies don't kiss. And, as we all know, we'd be wrong on both counts.

How do enemies kiss you? Well, there are biblical examples that might help. After the death of Absalom, David wasn't happy with the commander of his army, Joab. He was going to replace him with Amasa. But Joab encountered Amasa on the road. He greeted him with "Is it well with you, my brother?" and kissed him. And then he stabbed him to death (2 Sam 20:9-10). The treachery of a kiss. And, of course, that should bring to mind one of the most famous treacherous kisses of all time. Matthew, Mark, and Luke all record the betrayal of Judas when he brought the soldiers into the garden and identified the one they were to arrest by kissing Him. So, as it turns out, profuse kisses from an enemy isn't hard to understand. We get it.

So ... what are "the wounds of a friend"? David wrote, "Let a righteous man strike me -- it is a kindness; let him rebuke me -- it is oil for my head; let my head not refuse it" (Psa 141:5). That's the idea. When a friend takes you to task for your errors -- for your sin.

There are, included in this thought, three key factors.

First, it must be "a friend". "Faithful are the wounds of a stranger" is not the phrase. Nor does "enemy", "opponent", or even "loud-mouthed Internet protester" fit. (Sorry, an attempt at humor.) The wounds that are "faithful" must be from a bona fide friend.

Second, it must be true. If these wounds are to be faithful, they must first be faithful to reality. Since "Truth" is defined as that which corresponds to reality, these wounds must be based on truth. Reproving a friend for, say, interracial marriage would be a false reproof and would, therefore, not be a faithful wound of a friend.

Finally -- and this should go without saying, but it still seems to be said -- it will hurt. "Friends telling you the truth" doesn't always correlate to "wounds". It's a good thing to have friends who tell you the truth. That's all well and good. And, sticking with the parallel of the verse, we're all aware that enemies will hurt you. Again, we're clear on that. But this text is not speaking about that. It's speaking about pain caused by a friend who is telling you the truth.

What, then, can we conclude? Well, first, beware the kiss of the enemy. Just because someone is "kissing up to you" doesn't mean they're intending your good. The willingness and ability of an enemy to appear warm and friendly in order to stab you isn't rare or unusual; it is "profuse". Beware of "friends" who are enemies but appear friendly. And watch out for those who call themselves friends but won't tell you the hard truth when necessary. Second, friends, if they are your genuine friends, can and will wound you. They will do it with truth. And it will be good for you. Remember this the next time a friend hits you with a call for repentance that you don't like but recognize as true. Because those kinds of wounds are good for you -- "faithful". And those kinds of friends -- the ones who seek your best by being honest enough with you to tell you the truth when it will surely hurt you to do so -- are faithful friends. The good kind to have. Starting with Jesus, the truest of faithful friends.

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