That which must not be asked

There is, in a popular book and movie series, a character referred to as "He who must not be named." (Believe it or not, they actually made a documentary of the same name about the character. I mean, seriously, folks, it's a fictional character.) I've been mulling over "that which must not be asked."

In Christian circles we are encouraged to explore tough questions. What does the Bible say about sex? What has the Church historically believed about, say, homosexuality or marriage? What is the godly view of race relations? Questions that, in a politically-correct charged culture, might be considered inflammatory. But we can hunt down answers to these questions because "You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free." If your aim, then, is the truth, you can't go wrong, right? Sometimes the answers to these questions can cause tension or contention. Actually discovering what the Bible says, for instance, about divorce or corporal punishment or sex outside marriage will likely land you outside the current cultural norm. But it's all good because we want to see things from God's perspective, not just our world's or our own.

There is, however, a question often classified as "that which must not be asked". You typically won't hear it in polite company. You will not likely hear it among family members. You will almost never hear it asked face to face. It is just not a question that polite Christians ask. What is this horror? "Are you sure you're a Christian?"

That's right. Never question that. Don't ask it. Don't even think it. Don't question your own salvation. That's called "doubt" and we all know that "one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, driven with the wind and tossed." And never ever ask it about people close to you. You know, your wife, your husband, a child, a beloved family member, a dear friend. If they name it, they claim it. It is wrong to ask. It is beyond rude; it is offensive. Bringing up a question like that is an assault on the character of that loved one and you're wrong for doing it. Oh, sure, question the salvation of a heretic or an opponent, but never that of someone near and dear to you.

And, to be honest, I don't really get it. Someone told me, in hushed tones, "I don't really tell anyone this, but I'm not really sure if my son is saved." As if it was a secret concern that was really wrong to consider. But why is it? What could be more important? What could be more serious, more worthy of consideration? If there is evidence of a problem there, I would think that any loving Christian would feel compelled to ask the question. I mean, it's not like there is the fear of a fashion faux pas or something. "No, dear, that shirt doesn't go with those pants." No, if this isn't right, it is an eternal problem. And if you love someone, how could you not be concerned about their eternal condition?

It feels like insanity. You know, it's like you're dear husband is showing signs of chest pains and arm numbness and you don't want to be offensive and ask, "Are you okay?" Ask! It could be a heart attack! Your doctor finds symptoms of a fatal disease that is treatable but doesn't tell you because it might hurt your feelings. That's not genuine concern. That's stupidity. Considering the seriousness of the question, I would think it would be mandatory for someone who loves another and sees reasons to question their spiritual condition to explore the question.

But it's not just me. It's not just my feelings and thinking on the subject. The Bible repeatedly says the same thing. On those who doubt as well as the seriousness of the question, Jude writes, "Have mercy on those who doubt; save others by snatching them out of the fire; to others show mercy with fear, hating even the garment stained by the flesh" (Jude 22-23). James warns that faith by itself is not saving faith (James 2:14, 17). Paul was careful to ask about himself often "lest, after preaching to others, I myself should be disqualified" (1 Cor 9:27). And to the rest of us he warned, "Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you? -- unless indeed you fail to meet the test!" (2 Cor 13:5).

It is possible to be self-deceived, to believe you are "in the faith" when you are not, to believe you are "qualified" when you are not. The heart is deceitful and desperately wicked. The god of this world is willing to blind us to the truth. And we are commanded to examine ourselves, to have mercy on those who doubt, and to snatch them from the fire if possible. It is not a minor question. "Do you believe in full-immersion baptism or sprinkling?" "Is it a sin to smoke?" These are questions we do ask and might cause sparks. But if you love those around you, how can you not ask "that which must not be asked" if you see reasons to ask it? And if you are asked by someone who loves you, set aside your pride and see if there might be some reason for concern. It isn't a small matter and no one is immune from error. If you love God, you will welcome the opportunity to obey by examining yourself to see if you're in the faith. This should not be the question that must not be asked.

Postscript
Two important points that need to be brought out with this kind of post.

First, the absolute key to asking or being asked the question, "Are you saved?" is love. It is routine for hateful skeptics and apathetic doubters to attack your beliefs and there is no reason to expect that these people are asking out of love, so I can't imagine why there would be a reason to examine their question. It's a no-win. If you conclude they're right, they're delighted. If you conclude they're wrong, they don't care. The absolute essential in asking whether a person is saved is whether or not you love them and the absolute essential for accepting the question is whether or not they love you.

Second, despite my assertion that it is possible to be self-deceived, a common misconception, then, is that certainty is wrong. Certain Christian groups and all skeptics will argue that certainty is wrong, even evil. The Roman Catholics have even made an official statement on it that assurance of faith is wrong. This fits nicely with the double standard of the pseudo-Christian who will claim "I am confident I'm saved but it's wrong that you should be." It does not fit nicely with Scripture where, for instance, John wrote, "These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, so that you may know that you have eternal life." (1 John 5:13). If John wrote so that you may know that you have eternal life, it must be possible to know it. While we are capable of being self-deceived, a perpetual doubt is not wise, healthy, or even biblical, and those who claim it is are self-deceived, not recognizing their own cognitive dissonance.