I would, then, like to address that point. Here's what I'd like to tell you. Forget about pleasure. Forget about passion. Forget about how much we can get away with in being "like the Gentiles who do not know God". Here's why. Although I can point to passages that indicate that God is in favor of pleasurable sex between married couples, that is never the focus of Scripture. Your pleasure -- or even your spouse's pleasure -- is not the point. It is, in fact, this particular issue, I think, that has caused so many problems. We've missed the point.
What is the point of sex according to the Bible? Of course there is procreation, and I would hold that procreation precedes recreation in importance in the marriage bed. But we know that procreation is a primary point. So what else? Well, we can get that from Paul or we can get that from God -- who do you prefer? (Sorry ... trick question.) In Genesis we learn:
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh (Gen 2:24).Note, first, this is not Adam talking (as in the previous verse). It is the God-breathed author. Second, notice that it is a "therefore". Because Eve was "bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh" (Gen 2:23), because "the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man" (Gen 2:22), therefore the union of man and woman was proclaimed. As such, it would be the only God-ordained union. Woman was made for Man. That was the "therefore". "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him" (Gen 2:18) was the reason and marriage was the accomplishment.
But this is mostly an aside to my main point. Remember the question: What is the point of sex according to the Bible? The author tells us here, "they shall become one flesh." I can hear it now. "Oh, now, how do you know that means sex? I mean, husband and wife become 'one' in a variety of ways. How do you know it doesn't mean 'in heart' or 'in effort' or 'in spirit'?" Fair question. So while we have God saying, "they shall become one flesh", we also have Paul's God-breathed interpretation.
Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, "The two will become one flesh." But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with Him (1 Cor 6:15-17).Here Paul warns against sex outside of marriage. Technically, he warns against sex with a prostitute. (He rounds it up a little later with the more generic, "Flee sexual immorality" (1 Cor 6:18).) What is his warning? The sexual act joins people. There is, according to Paul, something far more than mere physical going on in the act of sex. There is something much more, something deeper. There is a very real union, even if it is not merely physical. The act of becoming "one body" produces a joining. Paul proof-texts his statement, then, with the Genesis reference. Thus, according to Paul, when Genesis said, "The two shall become one flesh", it was referring to the sex act that involves a deeper union than we are immediately aware of. There is, according to Paul, one other consideration. Like so many other things that God has ordained, the marriage bed constitutes an earthly image of a higher, spiritual truth: "He who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with Him." Messing with that image is not a good idea. (Ask Moses who ruined the picture of the Rock providing Living Water upon request after first having been struck once. It cost him his visit to the Promised Land.)
Okay, maybe I've been too obtuse. Let's finish this up. God has ordained that sex is for marriage only. God favors marital sex. God designed sex to be pleasurable, but you are not designed to be seeking your own pleasure, but the pleasure of your spouse. Most importantly, the primary purpose of sex in marriage is 1) procreation and 2) union. As such, it reflects reality -- "the two shall become one flesh" -- as well as what Paul calls a "mystery" in the union of Christ and the Church (Eph 5:31-32). It is my suspicion that many of us think of sex in all the wrong ways. Outside of marriage it's "dirty" or certainly "evil". Inside of marriage it's for pleasure. If we're really godly, it's for the pleasure of our spouses, not ourselves. But at the end of the day, it is about pleasure and, as such, not a very spiritual endeavor. The Bible begs to differ. If we understand sex in the terms that the Bible portrays it, sex becomes an act of worship, a celebration of the union of Christ to the Church. It is illustrated in this human mystery of the spiritual union of two people in a physical act. It is, if it is true that we are supposed to do everything to the glory of God (1 Cor 10:31), a shared activity between husband and wife that glorifies God along with pleasure and mystery. If you think in terms of "What can we do in the marriage bed?" with the realization that it is an act of worship, that ought to change your thinking. And, you know, I bet if you think about it you'll find that a lot of what God asks of us glorifies Him along with providing us with both pleasure and mystery.
8 comments:
You know what amazes me is that you rarely here sex outside of marriage associated with abortion. (realizing of course that a few married people do choose to kill their offspring) Abortion is painted in a glowy "every child a wanted child" light; as if the children appearing in their mother's womb just happened, kind of like cancer.
There is a radical disconnect, it seems between "my choice to engage in an activity that could very possibly produce a child" and "my responsibility in that choice." To even suggest to a pro-abortion type, "You know, she had a choice about having sex in the first place" will meet with serious anger, as if you're saying, "You know, she chose to breathe in the first place." "Of course she had a choice, but sex whenever she wants is every woman's right!" No, you won't hear that, either, will you? I'm not entirely sure why.
Because as sinners we want the fun of the act without the consequence of the act. Normal human behavior in my opinion.
I red that comment three times before I posted it and steal didn't catch the misspelling of hear. Go figure. I no everyone makes those kinds of mistakes, butt it steal drives me nuts when I do it.
Dan, it's been a long time since someone has made a comment that made me laugh that hard.
David: "we want the fun of the act without the consequence of the act".
No doubt. Unfortunately, "the fun of the act" is so far down God's list of importance that we who should know better (like, I don't know, me) completely miss what's really going on. Pleasure? Yeah, sure, but that's purely the animal component. We miss the more important union of two people and the seriously important image of the union of Christ and the Church. Isn't it just like Satan to manage to trivialize something of genuine importance until we're left arguing about it's trivialities rather than what's real?
Note, first, this is not Adam talking (as in the previous verse).
Ummmm... given that the verse begins with 'therefore' how do you make such a definitive statement on this?
"Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?" (Matt 19:4-5).
The commentators vacillate. "Maybe it's the author, Moses, or maybe it's Adam under inspiration, or maybe it's God." Jesus doesn't. Jesus assigns the words to the one who made male and female. Therefore (small humor), I believe that they are God's words.
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