Migrants in Irregular Situation

Well, it's all cleared up now. Shouldn't be long before we see a swift and simple response from Congress and the President. This whole "illegal immigration" thing ought to be over in ... what ... a matter of days? I'd think so.

Following the lead of the U.S. government, the U.N. has issued a statement calling all who agree with the concept of controlling borders "xenophobes and racists". The statement has a title which settles all the issues at hand and clears up all those nasty questions. You see, some have tenaciously referred to them as "illegal aliens" or "illegal immigrants" while the press has tried to shift away from the terminology of "illegal" and more toward "undocumented". The United Nations Human Rights Commission, however, has cut through it all to point out the real situation. The title of the statement, you see, is Statement of the Global Migration Group on the Human Rights of Migrants in Irregular Situation. Ah! There, you see? You thought they were "illegal". They're not! You thought they were "aliens" or even "immigrants". They're not! They're only migrants ... and they're "in irregular situation".

Now, I've tried to figure out what that means. According to the statement, this is a reference to "migrants without proper legal status" and "they are estimated to be in the tens of millions worldwide." I would have to ask, "If there are tens of millions worldwide, is it actually proper to call it an 'irregular situation'?" But, okay, I admit that I am not on the same wavelength as the U.N. Human Rights Commission, so we'll let that go.

What do they want? The Global Migration Group is concerned about the rights of migrant workers who happen to cross international borders. Understandably they are concerned about their abuse. They are "victimized by unscrupulous employers and sexual predators, and can easily fall prey to criminal traffickers and smugglers." Of highest concern are women and children in this group. Children, obviously, need protection, but, apparently, female migrants in irregular situation face, among other things, "specific challenges in access to employment". This should not be!

Of course, the problem isn't only unscrupulous people. It's not just pimps and human slavers and rotten employers causing these problems. It is governments (you know, like Arizona). The statement says, "Although States have legitimate interests in securing their borders and exercising immigration controls, such concerns cannot, and indeed, as a matter of international law do not, trump the obligations of the State to respect the internationally guaranteed rights of all persons, to protect those rights against abuses, and to fulfill the rights necessary for them to enjoy a life of dignity and security."

The report lists "the fundamental rights of all persons". Most are pretty clear. You know ... right to life (unless, I suppose, you're a human in the womb), the right to seek asylum from persecution, the freedom from discrimination "based on race, sex, language, religion, national or social origin, or other status" (think about the implications of that for a moment), the right to a fair trial, to be free from abuse and exploitation, free from torture and the like. We pretty much all concur with all of this. They include in the list the right "to be free from arbitrary arrest or detention", as if enforcing border security and immigration laws is "arbitrary". And they have this one on the list: "The right to protection of economic, social and cultural rights, including the right to health, an adequate standard of living, social security, adequate housing, education, and just and favorable conditions of work." How about that one? It is mandatory that all nations and all governments see to it that all persons as a matter of human rights have access to economic means, health protections, "an adequate standard of living", housing, education, and work (not just employment, but "just and favorable" work). Without even facing the question of those from other countries, it would appear that all those Americans currently unemployed are being denied their basic human rights. Where is the mandatory housing for the homeless? Where are the mandatory jobs for the unemployed? Well, fortunately, the President has taken care of that problem of health protection for all, but what about the rest? Oh, yes, the United States is failing miserably in human rights issues. I mean, think of it! How many Americans currently live without "an adequate standard of living"? It's awful!

Well, look, as I said at the beginning, this ought to clear up a lot. Now that we understand that they are not "illegals" as so many like to call them and certainly not "illegal immigrants" but simply "migrants in irregular situation", Congress should be able to fix this right away. It is a violation of human rights to make these silly laws that prevent people from coming into our country. They're simply migrating to where the work is, right? They're simply exercising their human rights. So Congress can do away with border security, eliminate the need for visas or other immigration control, and stop all this "illegal immigration" nonsense. Arizona's immigration enforcement law will go away because there will be no law to enforce. And all that money saved on government bureaucracy can now be put to use to begin to see to it that anyone who crosses our borders has employment, housing, education, an adequate standard of living -- all that the U.N. believes to be basic human rights, regardless of "race, sex, language, religion, national or social origin, or other status". And you narrow-minded, xenophobic racists who want to control the borders and work your jobs and protect what is yours and all that nonsense had better wake up and smell the coffee. It's time to be human! Or something like that.

So, Congress, Mr. President, I await your new law that eliminates all that immigration nonsense. Shouldn't take more than a week now that we're all clear that migrants are migrants and borders are irregular situations and we are causing our own problem and violating human rights. Easy! You'll get right on that, right?