Am I Making It?

I don't know about you, but I really want to be a good Christian. I want to be a good follower of Christ. Further, I'm not convinced that I am. I am always asking myself questions about me, and some of them are quite difficult to answer.

One is the problem of wealth. By American standards, I'm middle class. By societal standards, I'm not greedy. There isn't a lot of "stuff" I want. I'm not always looking for "the next big thing", trying to get "toys", hoping for more than I have. I'm pretty content with what I have. I just want to maintain it.

And therein lies the question. Am I trying to maintain too much? The Bible talks a lot about the rich, and generally it's not good. By the world's standards, I can be defined as no other than rich. Am I being greedy by simply wanting to maintain, or is that okay?

I wonder what a more ascetic life would look like for me. Eat less? Give up television entirely? How about computers? Are they a luxury? We have enough to be comfortable. Is it too much? Maybe I'd need to sell the house and live in a small apartment? How would it redefine my use of my time? Obviously less time in front of the television, even though I spend far less time there than the average American. Less time in front of the computer? Probably. More time ... doing what? Or how about talents? Am I using my skills and abilities as they should be used, or am I wasting them on myself? Is it merely an excuse to say I want to make my wife happy?

I'm not convinced I have "arrived" at being a good Christian. No, I'd even admit that I have not. But, to tell you the truth, I'm not sure what "a good Christian" would look like and I wonder how far off I really am. Sometimes I think it's not so far. Sometimes I think it's a very, very long way off. Am I making it as a Christian? No, I don't think so. I'm just not sure where that is.