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Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Is it just me ...?

I manage of team that makes biomedical instruments for research. My job is software. I have an engineer that designs hardware and another engineer that designs firmware. (For clarification, "hardware" is the electronics itself, "firmware" is the program that is stored in hardware to tell the hardware what to do, and "software" is the stuff that goes in the computer to tell the firmware what to tell the hardware to do. Now ... that's clear, right?) We're deeply involved in a project using complex hardware, intricate firmware, and an overcoat of software to make it do what the scientists need it to do. Since everything is new (that is, we've designed each piece), it's a complex system with bugs that need to be worked out while the scientists work out their own bugs. So it's no surprise to me when one of the biologists comes to me and says, "We have a problem with the instrument ..."

I've noticed something interesting in the responses to that simple phrase. My first response, before I ever know the symptoms, is, "What did I do wrong?" I assume that something in my software is causing a problem. Then they'll give me their description of the problem and I'll think, "Well, I can't think of how my software can cause that, but I'll look into it." I seem to be unusual in that response. My firmware engineer will say, "Well, it can't be my firmware because it won't do that" and my hardware engineer will say, "Well, when I tested my design it worked, so the problem can't be my hardware."

I don't offer this for your analysis of my engineers. I offer this as an illustration of a larger concept. I used to be baffled by this type of response -- "Can't be me" -- until I started to wonder, "Is it just me?" Am I the only one who thinks, "If there's a problem, I likely caused it"? It's not just work. I do the same thing at home. If my wife is having some difficulty, I wonder what I did. And it's not a "down on me" kind of thing. I just know that I make mistakes and if I do I need to remedy them.

So is it just me? Am I the only one making mistakes out there? Are you one who thinks "It could be me at fault" or are you one (like what appears to be the vast majority) who assigns the blame elsewhere until it can be proven that the problem is yours? I know my limits. I make mistakes. The fastest way to fix one of my mistakes is to recognize it and fix it. The slowest way to fix one of my mistakes is to point the blame elsewhere until I can no longer assign the blame to anyone else and then finally admit that yes, maybe, it was me. That seems inefficient. The question I really have, though, is it just me? Am I in the minority that it feels like I'm in, or are there more people out there that recognize that they're fallible and aren't afraid to admit it?

8 comments:

Danny Wright said...

It's not just you.

Ruth said...

"Am I the only one making mistakes out there?" Nope, that's for sure! Everybody does it.

"Am I in the minority that it feels like I'm in, or are there more people out there that recognize that they're fallible and aren't afraid to admit it?" I really don't know how to answer that question. I know people who always think a problem could be their fault. I know people who just about always say, and might actually think, problems are never their fault. Me? I have always had a hard time admitting that I'm wrong!! Seriously. Lately, there have been lots of big mistakes, more than mistakes in fact, sins, in my life that I cannot and do not wish to hide; in these cases, I finally can talk about it more because I feel like a hypocrit if I don't, and I am finally learning how freeing it is to admit the truth, work on fixing the problem, and... ask for help!

Stan said...

I figure that admitting faults is the best way to solve them ... certainly better than covering them.

Marshal Art said...

No doubt I'm fallible! I'm not too proud to admit my mistakes, though I'd appreciate a good explanation of why I made one, as well as an explanation dealing with improvement so I don't fail again, at least not in the same way.

But mistakes I can handle, even when no one cops to them. What really gets me is busting my hump to do the right thing and feeling like I'm the only one who cares to do so. It could be me, but it seems I get more heat for my mistakes than others would ever tolerate for their own. And that's not to say that I make more or bigger mistakes than others, just that I don't see the effort to prevent them or the remorse for having made them.

Stan said...

It has been interesting in my experience to see the response when I cop to a mistake before anyone points the finger. I remember once I dropped a very expensive piece of equipment we were testing. When the VP heard about it, he came storming downstairs to find out who was to blame. (He was known for storming.) "Who did this?" he bellowed to which I promptly (and sheepishly) replied, "I did, sir. It just got away from me. I'll be sure that that doesn't happen again, you can bet." All anger was gone. "Oh ... okay ... could happen to anyone. Let's see what we can do to fix it ..."

Seems like if I admit to my faults rather than cover them, I generally take less heat.

Sherry said...

My husband is like you. You're not alone. Too bad there are not more such people.

Science PhD Mom said...

It's kind of the best logical approach to take, because along the way toward discovering whether there is a problem on "your end", you will probably learn more about the whole system which will help the whole project in the long run. Speaking from experience as one of those folk on the other end, it's far, far easier to work with a multidisciplinary team when each member is ready to admit possible fault, so everyone is looking everywhere for the problem. But then again, you already know that, as many experiences prove!

Stan said...

Ah, the voice of experience!