I got myself in trouble the other day at the market. As I was doing some necessary shopping, I observed a woman who had figured out a brilliant system. She would move her cart to the end of an aisle and then send her son down the aisle to get what she wanted on that row. It was a breeze! She didn't have to maneuver through carts and kids. The stuff she wanted came to her!
I went over to her and commented, "Looks like you have this whole thing figured out. You just stand at the end and let your boy go do the work. Pretty smart!"
My error? I didn't take into account that it was a black woman to whom I was speaking. Had it been a white woman or a Hispanic woman or an Asian woman, I would have said, "Looks like you have this whole thing figured out. You just stand at the end and let your boy go do the work. Pretty smart!" I made the mistake of being totally color-blind.
She, of course, didn't appreciate it. I was insulting her. I was being a racist. I was inconsiderate and intolerant and very likely a clansman. "Don't be calling my son a 'boy'! Get away from me before I call the manager!"
"Ma'am," I replied quietly, "I'm sorry for failing to take into account that you are black. I thought of you as a person, and I didn't even think about you being black." I should have stopped there, but, after a pause, I had to finish my thought. "But it sure makes me wonder who is more racist."
She called the manager.
1 comment:
It's your predilection for using words as they are actually defined, Stan. See, you meant "boy", as in, "a young, non-adult male". She heard "a racist slang term for an African American male irrespective of age". At least you took the time to correct her faulty impression, however. One wonders if it did any good.
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