Dying is Gain?

As I mentioned before, I recently had a "brush with death." Perhaps it wasn't a brush. Maybe it was a distant glance. Who knows? I was interested, however, in the thinking processes that preceded my decision to go to the ER. The first thing I thought of was the realization that if I actually had a blood clot, it could kill me. Death from a pulmonary embolism -- the possible result of a runaway blood clot -- is usually quick ... within a few hours. That's not bad. And I thought, "I could go home!!" Yes, I thought that with excitement. Of course, immediately after that little shot of elation came reality. My son was graduating from college in a week and getting married the following month. My daughter is expecting our third grandchild in the next 6 months. It would be inconvenient for family and friends if I were to die just then. No, in the interest of everyone else, it would be best if I had this thing looked at. That was the thinking process.

Years ago I was explaining this type of thinking process to a friend at work during a break. A female coworker overheard me and was shocked. "Is life so horrible for you that you want to die?" she asked incredulously. I tried to explain it to her.

"You live in a nice part of town in a decent home, a good husband, good children, a reasonable lifestyle with what you need and most of what you want. Are you happy with that?" She assured me she was. "Imagine, then, that someone comes up to you with a proposition. 'Good news,' he says, 'you're the winner of our grand prize. We have set aside 3 acres of prime property overlooking the ocean. We will build for you the house that you would like. When it is finished, we will pay for all new furnishings and decorations to the house -- whatever you want. We will pay for all landscaping to your taste. We will provide a monthly payment for a maid and a gardner. We will also give you two new cars -- whatever you choose. All of this is free of charge to you. You're our grand prize winner. Congratulations!' Now," I asked her, "would you accept his offer and move or would you turn it down?"

"Oh," she said excitedly, "I'd take it in a heartbeat."

"Why?" I asked. "Is life where you are so horrible?"

No, it's not that life is so horrible. It's that the option is so grand. I've heard people say, "I'm ready to die," but what they invariably express is that life is too tough. That's not what I was thinking when I was contemplating the ER. That's not what Paul was thinking in his letter to the Philippians. In that letter, he was confident that he would be released from prison. He didn't know if it would be by judicial release or by death ... but he didn't care. He said, "For to me to live is Christ and to die is gain" (Phil. 1:21). He meant exactly what I was thinking when I debated going to the ER. "I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better, but to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account" (Phil. 1:23-24).

It's often difficult to express this to people. Death is the end. It is one of the biggest fears of most people. Some of us, on the other hand, don't fear it at all. (It's dying that scares me, not death.) We see ourselves as ambassadors from another place, visitors in people suits. "This world is not my home." It's nice here. We like it. I, in fact, am quite content with my life here. But going home ... that is something far better than I can imagine. To some of us, living is a good thing and dying is even better. I suppose that qualifies as a "win-win" situation.