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Monday, April 21, 2008

Deal With It?

I have this "reputation" of being a veritable font of knowledge. (Yes, folks, that is sarcasm.) Actually, I am trying to forge a name for myself as one who doesn't know as much as you might think. Based on some of my past posts, I think I'm well on my way. This is no exception. I don't know something, and I'm hoping someone can enlighten me.

As Christians, we hold lots of common beliefs. We believe in God -- one God. We believe in Jesus, that He lived, died for us, and rose again. You know, basic stuff. Stuff we all agree on. Since the source book of our beliefs says (among other things) that "there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved" (Acts 4:12), we also must conclude that people who die without Christ do not go to heaven. You know, basic stuff.

So ... what do you do when someone you love dies without Christ? I've seen various approaches to this problem. You see, no one really wants to say, "My dear (fill in the relationship) died and went to Hell." So people come up with a variety of ways to deal with it. One is to change their theology. Universalism suddenly appears much more appealing. Maybe there is a loophole in the "salvation in no other" concept. Maybe we're being too rigid in our beliefs or in our reading of the Bible or in even using the Bible as a source of belief. Some eliminate the concept of Hell entirely. It doesn't exist. It's a failure to properly understand the Bible. The Roman Catholics like the Purgatory concept where you just spend time getting purged, not actually in Hell. Eventually you'll get to Heaven. Others refuse to ask the question. In fact, they can get quite offended when someone else does. "Who are we to know? How can you know they didn't accept Christ in the last seconds of their life? You can't know. No one can!" And, truth be told, we cannot know. We can't know the heart of another. Still, there are plenty of folks that we know that have made it their life's goal to stand firmly against the calling of the Spirit, and they've done it quite well. Sure, miracles happen, but it would take exactly that in many cases. Nonetheless, lots of people seek their comfort in their uncertainty.

Still I ask, other than denying the faith or denying reality, what can you do when someone you love dies without Christ? The ultimate argument of the atheist is generally to question how an all-loving God could allow bad things to happen. What could be worse than this? It may not bode well for us, but the truth is that when unknown or far-removed folks die without Christ, it doesn't shake us as much. When a staunch, outspoken anti-Christian dies, we might even quip, "Well, now they know the truth, don't they?" We're not so glib when it's someone close to us. Without denying the faith or reality, then, how do you deal with it? Without the glibness reserved for the distant death, what do you tell yourself when a dear one perishes? Do you succumb to the atheist's complaint? Do you surrender to the skeptic's view? Do you close your eyes and adopt the military's "don't ask don't tell" approach? I have ideas, but I want to know what others might suggest. If the Bible embraces the notion that people that die without Christ do not go to Heaven, should we? If so, how do we do that?

8 comments:

Jim Jordan said...

Great question, Stan.
Of course I believe that the Bible has it right. That is why we should pray daily for unsaved loved ones that the Holy Spirit would convince them or that they would call on Christ. But ultimately we can only be responsible for ourselves [note the Parable of the 10 Virgins].

Now I wouldn't go around saying loved one X is in Hell. And what if I'm selected to eulogize the unsaved loved one? Not unlikely, I'm the one that always gets chosen the prayer (i.e. most religious), the writer, poet, etc. If X is my father, then how would I honor my father by saying I, uh, think he's in Hell? At this juncture, I would not be sure of my father's heart, whether he believes in Christ or not, but nonetheless I would include in my eulogy the things my father did for his family and how God used him miraculously to come back from a war in one piece and raise a family.

In conclusion, two things: #1 - Wittgenstein said that "What we do not know we must pass over in silence". And by "know" I do not mean the Bible but our loved one's heart.
#2 - It's not our place to judge but through supplication in prayer for our unsaved loved ones. I love Exodus 32 for that reason. God declares He's going to destroy the Israelites and start a new nation with Moses. Moses instead "talked God out of" killing them. The parameters are the same for us; we live, they die. Moses could have said, "Oh, yeah, that's great!" but he didn't and God "listened" to him. We should have Moses' heart and hope against all odds that our unsaved loved ones may somehow be saved. [Of course, we should warn them about Hell - and describe Heaven to them, but the question is predicated on them being dead already]

Those are my thoughts. What a great question, though.

Anonymous said...

Difficult question. Especially since there're still unsaved ones closest to me.

There's a part of me that just wants to believe in God's justice and righteousness and say "hey, they had a chance, they had a choice, they chose a path away from God".

Unfortunately, there's also the part that hopes against hope that they somehow chose God just before they died....

Refreshment in Refuge said...

I have had difficulty with this question... not from a loved one's lack of saving faith, but from the side of the multitude of humans down through the centuries who never heard about Jesus. I guess that is a different question.

As for a loved one not accepting Christ and passing on to proper judgement. I look at it from the top of the cross. Jesus said, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do." Then His garments were gambled for. Amazing.

God gets no pleasure from the judgement of the unrighteous. I believe Jesus wept over those who were blind and would not accept Him and He got angry at the Pharisees who blinded and caused so many to not believe in Him. It grieved Him that Jerusalem would not have anything to do with Him.

I have several lost people written in the front cover of my Bible whom I am praying for. I even pray for my wicked ex because I would not that he go to Hell. Anytime a loved one dies whom I am pretty sure was not Christian, I grieve. I think God would have us use this energy and these feelings to deepen the urgency to speak to those we know who are not saved so they may know Jesus. The time grows short and we are all only a heartbeat away from our eternity.

Stan said...

If all that God does is good, and God (rightly) judges people, the real question for me is how do I embrace it?

You see, I suspect that the problem is me. I suspect that I am closer to sinful Man than a Holy God. I suspect I have more sympathy for humans than concern for the glory of God. I suspect that when I get that straightened out, I will embrace it rather than simply acknowledge it.

Anonymous said...

I do agree. Mentally, cognitively, it's easy to agree that even loved ones who did not choose Christ should languish in Hell.

It's a lot harder to acknowledge that emotionally though. Other than the guilt complex that always wonders if more could've been done to save them, there's always that lingering human pride that wonders whether a lifetime (80 years?) of bad choices should condemn someone to eternal suffering?

Stan said...

I suppose we're not alone with the emotional side. The Bible says that God takes no pleasure in the death of the wicked. Jesus wept over Jerusalem. God Himself seems to be saddened by the choices of so many that decide in favor of Hell rather than the offered salvation. So I guess we who weep over it are in good company.

Science PhD Mom said...

I think there is a strong element of trust that comes into play. We know that "God is not willing that any shall be lost," (2 Pet. 3:9) and Romans 10:13 says, "Whoever will call on the name of the Lord shall be saved." I think the 2 Peter passage tells us that God gives everyone an equal opportunity to know Him, and indeed all do know Him even if they choose to subvert that knowledge (Rom. 1:19-25).

We also know that all will stand and be judged on Judgement Day, both the dead and the living. I think it's fair to say that the dead are in God's care until that Day...and could we not also say that we are all in God's care, every day? God is present to sustain our lives...but we are getting into very complicated theology here, so I'd best leave my muddled thoughts at that.

Anonymous said...

I guess 'trust' is the word that should be used here. In the end, i can only trust the fate of my as-yet-unsaved loved ones to His truth, righteousness and mercy. As for those who have passed away, does seem that the only recourse is to trust too in the mercy and justice of the God of the bible.