Life gets tedious, doesn't it?

In a world of extremes, there are antinomians and legalists. The antinomian will tell you that there are no rules and the legalist will tell you that you must never do these things and always do those things. The legalist will tell you that there are lots and lots of things you must not do and the antinomian will tell you to do whatever you want.

There is a place in most of us that likes the antinomian. "Let me do whatever I like." But there is another place in most of us that likes the legalist as well. "Just tell me what to do and I'll do it." You know ... twelve steps to a better life, five rules for managing your time, The Creative Process Simplified ... that sort of thing.

In a biblical worldview, it's easy to shoot down the antinomian. Jesus said, "If you love Me, you will keep My commandments" (John 14:15). And, of course, it's equally easy to silence the legalist. Paul wrote, "If you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law" (Gal. 5:18). Okay, good. The extremes are dead. And here is where life gets tedious. You see, we neither get to do whatever we like nor are we given twelve steps to a better life. In life, there are actually very few "always" and "nevers" in what we can and can't do.

Consider for a moment something that talk show host and ethicist, Dennis Prager, had to say the other day. He said that it was gravely immoral to go to someone's house without calling first. What? That would be the statement of a legalist. Some people love it when you drop by. On the other hand, the antinomian's "Do whatever you want" doesn't work either because some people are sorely offended when you drop by unannounced. And life gets tedious. Why? Because the right answer doesn't have rules in black and white. Sometimes it is gravely immoral to drop by someone's house without calling because they would be upset. Sometimes it is perfectly acceptable to do so because they don't mind at all. Then throw in other factors. Almost no one would be upset if you banged on their door without calling to tell them that their attic was on fire. On the other hand, very, very few appreciate having someone drop by unannounced when they're in the middle of dinner.

You see, it's far more complicated than either extreme would like you to think. You have to think! You have to know people and what they prefer. You have to consider their feelings. Take, for instance, those fine seminars on how to make a marriage work. When they go beyond principle and get into practical, it gets real "iffy". What is practical for one couple is not necessarily so for another. And, truth be told, people change. What is pleasant for a spouse now may become an irritation to them later. There are principles at work, but there are few black and white, hard and fast, step by step rules. Sure, you should never cheat on your wife. Oh, that's easy. Now, define "cheat". Is your wife offended by the way you talk to other women when you're together? Does your demeanor cause her concern about your faithfulness? Does the way you interact with other guys come across to your husband as "flirting"? You see, these are not necessarily in the realm of "adultery", but if you love your spouse, you had better take their perceptions and feelings into account.

Life would be a lot easier if either the antinomians or the legalists were right. Either let me do whatever I want, or tell me exactly what behaviors I can and can't do. Unfortunately, most of life is a "walk by faith, not by sight" kind of existence. Christians are not "under the Law", but they are to be "led by the Spirit," as nebulous as that gets. We aren't supposed to do whatever we want; we are to obey Christ's commands. His primary command was to love. And love is complicated. It sets me aside and takes into account all those people with whom I come in contact and don't often know well enough to be clear what love looks like in each individual case. Yes, sometimes life gets tedious, but "if you love Me, you will keep My commandments."