It's Valentine's Day. It's ... what? Many modern folk think that Valentine's Day has it's origins in the St. Valentine's Day massacre. Obviously it's not. Its actual origins are in a feast day that honored Saint Valentine, a martyr in Rome in the third century. As the story goes, Emperor Claudius II decided to outlaw marriage for young men because single men made better soldiers, but Valentine continued to perform marriages, so Claudius had him executed. Or it was the other Valentine that Claudius had beheaded? From prison, he wrote his own love letter to a young girl and signed it, "From your Valentine." That makes sense, but I've never been able to figure out what the card means that says, "Be my Valentine." What's a "Valentine"? A card sent, according to the dictionary. No, that can't be it. A marytr? Oh, I hope not ...
Valentine's Day today glorifies romantic love. I used the adjective because, frankly, we're all pretty vague on "love." We're pretty sure, for instance, that "being in love" is a good -- even the only -- reason to marry. But since that romantic sensation wavers, dies, perhaps returns -- is basically uneven at best -- it's obvious where today's folks prefer "till love does us part" in their vows. You shouldn't be married to someone with whom you are not "in love." Which, given the biblical definition of marriage, becomes a serious problem, since marriage is for life. We do know that love is not a constant. That is, "I love pizza" and "I love my mother" and "I love my spouse" are not all the same thing. And, yet, we seem to talk of it like it's a monolith -- a single, organized whole. It's not. And we know it. When we are told we are to "love your neighbor as yourself," only the most deviant would think of sex at a time like that. It's not that kind of love. Especially when the command is laid alongside, "Love the Lord your God." Not even remotely about romantic love. It's something else. It's not even "brotherly love." It's agape.
Everyone knows that, in fact, love is not simply love. There are different meanings to the term, from the base sexual content to the friendly brotherly type to the romantic and on to the sublime. That sublime version? Paul describes it in 1 Corinthians 13, but the most concise version I know of is in Ephesians. "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her" (Eph 5:25). "Gave Himself up." And what did that look like? He "emptied Himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men" (Php 2:5-8). God, the Son, laying aside His own right to be "in the form of God" in order to die for His Bride. Self-sacrificing love without the mundane requirement of romance or appetite. Is that what a Valentine is? Somehow I'm pretty sure that's not what anyone has in mind when they say, Be my Valentine." That kind of love is rare even among believers. It shouldn't be.
7 comments:
I was thinking about this "holiday" this morning wondering why I'm "celebrating" it other than to please my wife. I'm no Catholic, so St. Valentine holds no meaning to me. I already have an anniversary to set aside as a special time to celebrate my love for my wife. I already try to show her often how much I love her. If you're not in a relationship, this day is either ignored or painful. And it is always good to remind myself to love God. But this day doesn't really seem to be out any use. But, my wife would be mad if I ignore it, so here it goes.
I hear what you're saying, David, but isn't marriage a lot about "What's important for her"? Like, "Love your wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her." So, perhaps, rather than "I don't want her to be mad," you could go with, "This is a real opportunity to delight her"?
They would probably be the better mentality.
I had to laugh at your post title today. My husband and I actually say that very line quite a bit (with the long pause for the comma); he says it’s from a Carol Burnett skit going way back. Is that how you know it? (I thought you had no TV.) Another line of that kind that we say is “Do you want to fight, my friend? Yeah? Well, my friend is 6’ 5” and weights 300 pounds, so good luck with that!” Yes, we both have a weird sense of humor. :)
Lorna, I don't have cable (or antenna) TV; I did at one time. It wasn't Carol Burnett; it was Benny Hill.
Today I heard of a truck driver going through Love, Saskatchewan. When he got out of town, he called his wife. "I'm not in Love anymore."
Yes, I'm known for my weird sense of humor.
I remember that line from benny Hill and said it just like that when I read it too Lorna.
David, it can be painful to be alone on this hallmark card day, as with all holidays that have family involved. I got married on Valentines day once, I wonder why we chose that day.
I liked your response Stan to David.
I love that truck driver’s wit--hopefully his wife has a good sense of humor as well!
Just to clarify: the “we both” I wrote was my husband & me--I wasn’t accusing you of having a weird sense of humor (sorry if that was unclear).
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