YHWH God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man." For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. (Gen 2:22-24)Jesus attributes that quote about "a man shall leave his father ..." to God Himself (Matt 19:4-6). Marriage, then, from the beginning was the union ("become one flesh") of a man and a woman, a covenant for life between God and two people. We know that one of the primary functions of marriage was originally, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it" (Gen 1:28). We also know that the relationship was designed to be complementary -- a suitable helper. So marriage from the beginning was a lifelong union of a man and a woman for purposes of procreation and for mutual support.
Beyond that, and something that didn't come out until much later, we learn that God planned for a hierarchy in marriage where "Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ" (1 Cor 11:3). We discover that marriage is a mutual submission (Eph 5:21) where the wife submits to her husband as to the Lord (Eph 5:22) and the husband loves his wife by surrendering self for her (Eph 5:25-26). We see that there is, indeed, a sexual component beyond simple procreation, where "The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does" (1 Cor 7:4). That is, our sexual relationships are designed to be sacrificial rather than self-serving. Perhaps most important, we find that marriage was designed as an illustration of the relationship of Christ and the church (Eph 5:32). The Bible has much to say about marriage. All this ... and more.
How is it, then, that we seem to miss it so completely? How is it that we can imagine a "marriage" that is a short-term project -- "till love do us part"? How can believers see it as the thing that meets my needs? How can we see the union of two men or two women as "marriage"? Or applaud when two Christians who can't stand each other opt to separate but not divorce to "honor their marriage commitment"? Why do we find husbands who find it their assignment to "make her submit" and wives who are quite sure that they'll "never submit to him; he doesn't know enough to come in out of the rain"? Why is it, as clear as Scripture is, that modern marriage among Christians seems to be so very far from God's instructions? How can we, followers of Christ, consider God's commands on this as backwards, incoherent, unreasonable, and "on the wrong side of history"? There is something really wrong here.
3 comments:
I think this is another outcome of Christians accepting an Evolutionary worldview. I hear from Christians, "men were evolutionarily designed to try to spread their oats to have as many children as possible for the propagation of the species." We've bought the idea that we developed into what we are, not that we were created a certain way. When you remove Adam and Eve as real people and make Genesis a myth, you lose out on so much good that God has for us.
The questions in your final paragraph certainly highlight how far off-base adults have become regarding marriage, as selfishness rules the sinful heart. Sadly, Christians don’t recognize the creeping decay of biblical principles in their own lives, and as each generation that passes holds greater worldliness, the lower the standard becomes. Many young people don’t want to work hard and sacrifice their own interests and comfort just to enjoy a long, solid (read: boring) marriage. The trade-off is not worth it, but sometimes one doesn’t learn the outcome of one’s choices for the long-term until it is too late. As with everything in life, we sorely need God’s direction about marriage and must accept that in His goodness God has designed a perfect system for our well-being--how foolish we are to pass that up for anything else!
When I was quite young, lo those many years ago, I held the opinion that marriage vows should be, as you presented in your post, "so long as you both shall love". I thought that both clever and rational. But then I grew up. I came to think on the whole issue from a Biblical perspective and my notion of marriage changed. My wife and I, for various reasons not at linked to proper Christian teaching, had seven years between or first date and our marriage...lo those many years ago. By the time we said our "I dooz", there wasn't much left to learn about each other and I understood the reasoning behind long engagements. Then there were those vows we took...which frankly I don't remember. But what I believe instead is very much akin to the standard vows we've so often heard all our lives. "To have and to hold, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, in good times and bad..." Wait! I never thought it would be that bad! I want a divorce! But each of those opposites are undefined and without limitations or else those definitions and limitations would somewhere be a part of those vows. But if we are to be one flesh...if I am she and she is me and we are all together...it makes complete sense. Individuals generally treat themselves highly, as if there is no other. To be one flesh with one's spouse means exactly that. Treating one's spouse well is to treat ourselves well also. Most of us don't kill ourselves when we screw up. We find a way to deal with it, to get over it, to forgive ourselves. Our spouse is our self, too.
Oh...and spouses are never the same sex. Just sayin'.
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