Like the Back of My Hand

What is it with hands? We seem to have a host of phrases that deal with hands that, often, seem to make no sense ... even though we all know what we mean by them.

We know what it means to do some work "by hand." That's easy. It's not by machine. Okay. Good. And we like to keep some things "on hand." Near. In easy reach so to speak. Some of these make reasonable sense because they actually have to do with hands. On the other hand ...

You might experience something "first hand," meaning "in person." What does "hand" have to do with it? Why do we buy "second hand" items? What is the "second hand"? I've heard it said, "I know this like the back of my hand." How well do you know the back of your hand? Would you be able to pick yours out in a photo lineup? I understand that government might be "heavy-handed" and even "underhanded," but the former is clearer to me than the latter. Under what? What does someone have in their hand that would cause you to force it? I know to "wash your hands" of a problem is actually biblical (coming from Pilate washing his hands when he ordered Jesus's crucifixion), but how would you "lend a hand" without, you know, dismembering yourself? Ships will order "all hands on deck." Why just their hands, and why should they put them on the deck? If it's possible to be in "safe hands" is it possible to be in "dangerous hands"? Maybe, but I've never heard that one. I spoke to someone just the other day who told me, "We're shorthanded today." What a strange word picture that conjures up, right? Jesus Himself said, "Do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing" (Matt 6:3). I'd think that would be pretty easy since my left hand doesn't know anything at all. If I wanted a tool, I might ask, "Would you hand me a wrench?" but I'd never say, "Would you mouth me a wrench?" if I hoped they'd use their teeth, right? Of course it would be hands. You can have nothing in your hands, your hands full, your hands tied, and in no case are you actually stating any of those as actual fact. If you get something from someone else, it's a "hand-me-down" which is as much a poorly constructed sentence as a strange idiom. Who are you handing down?

It seems to me this is all getting out of hand. Which is strange because, at no time as far as I can tell, was any of it actually in my hand. Still, you know exactly what I meant. It's all very handsome, which originally meant "easy to handle" or "ready at hand" and now means nothing at all like it. Which only goes to show that communication is tenuous at best, isn't it?