There are times in my life when, examining the world around me, I get nigh unto despair. Sorry. I spent the last week in Louisiana. There are times when I approach the feeling of hopelessness. Look around. Mothers are leaving children. Fathers are leaving children. Marriage is in disrepair. Children are being abused. Families are dissolving. Divorce is on the rise. What hope is there?
Look around long enough and I begin to feel, "What's the use?" How will the families of tomorrow survive? How can kids raised in divorce, abandonment, abuse, and worse grow up to have healthy, happy families? Worse, how can people whose idea of "father" is "that guy who beat and humiliated and raped me all my life" come to a happy, proper relationship with our heavenly Father? It can all seem so hopeless.
And then I remember two things. The first is the construct of the human being. It seems, against all odds, that even though humans are desperately evil, there is encoded in their DNA the truth about such things. While children may be raised in horrendous situations, it seems that, under all the horror, they still know what a good parent looks like. They may not have experienced one or even seen one, but they still know what it looks like. A good parent listens, cares, loves, provides -- all the things that God does for us. And they know what they need to do to be that good parent. They may not do it, but they know it.
And the second is like unto the first ... likely because they're closely interrelated. The second is the biggest because it is the character of God. Knowing that God designed us, knowing that He is Sovereign, knowing that He is good and will always bring about the best, we can relax when things look hopeless. That's even bigger than the nature of the human being.
It's true in many cases. God is the answer. And when I start to feel like things cannot possibly work out, I am reminded once again that the Maker of the Universe causes all things to work together for good. Life gets bizarre, and is often unpredictable, but God will always do what is right. That's something on which to place my hope.
1 comment:
Ironic...
Today in counseling this very issue came up in a sense. My oldest daughter and I were in a joint session. I asked this wonderful Christian counselor (who came to be a wonderful, compassionate, Christian counselor because of the abuse she once suffered), "How does my daughter learn what healthy looks like in a future husband?" When she has not known a godly man, how will she know how to identify a man who will make a good husband? How can she do better than what we have lived?
My counselor handed us a paper to read over and of course there is a lot more to it, but she said there are three traits that tend to rear their ugly heads if you know what to look for that should be a warning to us the person is not walking right with God and therefore cannot truly commit to us in godly love.
As simple as it may seem to one raised in a healthy family, to me...I see work for us. Work to learn what is right and wrong in relationships and when we can say "No, this is not okay with me."
My daughter admitted that if a man at church hugged her too long she would fear telling him not to do that to her that she does not like it. I thought it was because she would be concerned whether or not he would like her and think she is a sweet girl. Instead she said, "No, because I don't know if he has a rage issue and if he will hurt me if I speak up, if there is not somebody there to protect me. I know to be quiet and walk on eggshells."
The counselor probed her further and learned that in my daughter's experiences through life at home, church, school, and other extracurricular activities she has seen that males are just as emotional was females, only females tend to cry and talk out their hurt wanting to heal the relationship, while men tend to vent out their hurt via cruel words and physical destruction to keep those around them in fear and control or else he feels threatened and insecure.
This is not the ALWAYS rule, but the majority rule in her view. So we are attempting to construct a safe way to give my daughter "healthy" and "godly" male role models in her life (we all know this can be very difficult for a lot of reasons in this day and age of lawsuit happy people). She knows a handful of males, including her brothers, my brothers, and my dad that would NEVER hurt a female and treat us with respect. She knows she is permitted to say ANYTHING to any of them and they will listen and care about how something affects her, even if they don't agree.
However, I desire for her to know more "healthy" and "godly" couples to see how they interact. How a husband treats his wife when loving respect when she shares her thoughts, not tries to close her down with a temper tantrum. How a wife listens to her husband's needs and tries to come alongside him and help him. How the two can become ONE by giving preference to each other and working together to be united in all matters for God's glory.
I think I will send her to my bosses when she is done with college, so she can learn this through example. Or maybe, just maybe some of my bosses will move out here and bless us with that godly example. I absolutely ADORE watching them interact as spouses. It is amazing the oneness they come to by both submitting to God and giving preference to each other. There is no room for power plays, only laying down their lives and seeking oneness. So very cool!
I agree with you that God is good and somehow even through ALL of this, He will work this together for good. Our hope lies in knowing He will use all of these things for His glory. That somehow, as you have said before, we will comfort those with the comfort God has comforted us in our afflictions.
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